Telemarketing Calls!

[Super Dave]

Don't you just get tired of them?

It used to be that I would just hang up the phone.  That just didn't feel right.  Just kind of didn't have the feel that I wanted.

When my Mom got cancer, she'd reply to anything they said with, "I have cancer!"  Which usually just left them kind of dumbfounded.

Currently, I have a strange message on my answering machine at home so that I can further confuse the telemarketers.  I spend too much money on racing, so I figure that I ain't buying anything that they are selling.  Allowing them those extra minutes to loose money on my phone line just feels good.

Today, I responded to a telemarketer in my standard fashion.  The phone rings, I pick it up thinking that I might be my wife calling about our boy's dentist appointment.  My cheerful hello is greeted with the background noixe of some kind of telemarketing equivelant of a sweat shop, and MY guy is seeming to be having a conversation with his neighbor.  

I quickly go to work, opening my mouth and responding with high pitched screeching and choking noises until I get his attention.  Once I get a confused hello from him, I like to go in to some kind of accented voice.  You choose your own.  And even change it.  You can start out French and then go right into German.  Follow it up with a high pitched female voice from Monty Python....

 ;D

[Jeff]

Step 1...  Caller ID

Step 2...  If you receive a call, pick it up and only say HELLO ONCE.  If there is silence, give it a second or two and hang up.  Many of the auto-dialers don't recognize the first "hello", or they're transferring you to an open agent.  Don't give them that second hello, or the time to get to an open agent.

If it's someone really important who wanted to talk to you, they'll call back.

Oh...  If one does get through, the simple words "place me on your don't call list" and hang up can do the trick (over time)...

[Super Dave]

Well, ya know, caller ID would take away from my race budget  (LOL! :D ;D It takes all my money!).

And I like having them pick up on their auto dialer.  I like to think of them paying for race entries but crashing in practice, ya know?  No refunds.  

Then it's nice to take up some of their day, and brighten mine!

Better yet...

Talk to them.  

Well, sort of...

Let them do their thing, but answer every question they have with a question.  "Well, what do you think of that Mr Rosno?"  "Well....(really, really long pause...to see how well they pay attention)....what would you do?"

Or better yet ask them irrelevant questions.  "Are you wearing sandals?"

[harb990]

Check into your state's no-call list.  I added our phone number to it and the calls went from 3-4 a night to maybe one every two or three weeks. :D

Caller ID!!  Wouldn't have a phone line without it.

[Super Dave]

You guys are just not having fun.

I'm on the no call list.  I'll get an occasional call still.  No use getting angry or cranky about it.  Have some fun!!!!

Anyone ever see Steve Martin in "The Jerk"?  

Remember the song..."I'm Picking Out a Thermos For You"?

When there mid sentence in their introductions, just start singing.8)  Then pause for their response.

[Dawn]

LOL!!!!

Paul - still the lawyer child - can talk just about anyone into a circle.  Once in a while he will get a telemarketer sooo confused that they end up hanging up on him.   ;D

Dawn   :)

PS  I love our state's no call list.  

[Super Dave]

LOL!!!! Once in a while he will get a telemarketer sooo confused that they end up hanging up on him.   ;D

YEAH, BABY!  That's what I'm talkin' about!  PV's...Personal Victories!  That's where it's at!
 :)

[RC51Racer]

I have a brother-in-law that lives by himself, he gets them into long drawn out conversations. They don't even call anymore, I guess he got black balled.  :-*

Mike

[Litespeed]

If it's a female on the line, asking her what she's wearing usually gets a quick hang up.  Otherwise just have them repeat themselves constantly and see how long you can keep them on the phone.  We should post records in here and put money on who can go the longest :).

[RI-231]

I don't get the whole selling crap on the phone.  I do not know one person who has ever bought anything or seriousely listened with an inkling (?) of purchasing anything.  Where do they make all of there money?

I have it easy.

Me: Hello
TM: Is mister H..Hu..Hunemmmmm there?
ME: Nope He doesn't live here. click

I agree with Dave.  I see "out of area" on my caller ID and I am skeptical, but I say hello, wait till they say hello, then usually hang up.  Just so they have to pay for a $.02 call.  

[Super Dave]

Come on, Toby...

Next call you get, start babbling like Daffy Duck used to on the old Looney Toons.  

Or just respond in a whisper..."I like salad....I like salad."

No call lists are fine, caller ID is good...  But if you can make one Telemarketer go insane...  Remember, it's for the children. :)

[RI-231]

Dave,

I am sure I will have 3 or 4 chances to try that tonight.  I will let you know how it goes.