Telemarketing Calls!

[Super Dave]

Don't you just get tired of them?

It used to be that I would just hang up the phone.  That just didn't feel right.  Just kind of didn't have the feel that I wanted.

When my Mom got cancer, she'd reply to anything they said with, "I have cancer!"  Which usually just left them kind of dumbfounded.

Currently, I have a strange message on my answering machine at home so that I can further confuse the telemarketers.  I spend too much money on racing, so I figure that I ain't buying anything that they are selling.  Allowing them those extra minutes to loose money on my phone line just feels good.

Today, I responded to a telemarketer in my standard fashion.  The phone rings, I pick it up thinking that I might be my wife calling about our boy's dentist appointment.  My cheerful hello is greeted with the background noixe of some kind of telemarketing equivelant of a sweat shop, and MY guy is seeming to be having a conversation with his neighbor.  

I quickly go to work, opening my mouth and responding with high pitched screeching and choking noises until I get his attention.  Once I get a confused hello from him, I like to go in to some kind of accented voice.  You choose your own.  And even change it.  You can start out French and then go right into German.  Follow it up with a high pitched female voice from Monty Python....

 ;D

[Jeff]

Step 1...  Caller ID

Step 2...  If you receive a call, pick it up and only say HELLO ONCE.  If there is silence, give it a second or two and hang up.  Many of the auto-dialers don't recognize the first "hello", or they're transferring you to an open agent.  Don't give them that second hello, or the time to get to an open agent.

If it's someone really important who wanted to talk to you, they'll call back.

Oh...  If one does get through, the simple words "place me on your don't call list" and hang up can do the trick (over time)...

[Super Dave]

Well, ya know, caller ID would take away from my race budget  (LOL! :D ;D It takes all my money!).

And I like having them pick up on their auto dialer.  I like to think of them paying for race entries but crashing in practice, ya know?  No refunds.  

Then it's nice to take up some of their day, and brighten mine!

Better yet...

Talk to them.  

Well, sort of...

Let them do their thing, but answer every question they have with a question.  "Well, what do you think of that Mr Rosno?"  "Well....(really, really long pause...to see how well they pay attention)....what would you do?"

Or better yet ask them irrelevant questions.  "Are you wearing sandals?"

[harb990]

Check into your state's no-call list.  I added our phone number to it and the calls went from 3-4 a night to maybe one every two or three weeks. :D

Caller ID!!  Wouldn't have a phone line without it.

[Super Dave]

You guys are just not having fun.

I'm on the no call list.  I'll get an occasional call still.  No use getting angry or cranky about it.  Have some fun!!!!

Anyone ever see Steve Martin in "The Jerk"?  

Remember the song..."I'm Picking Out a Thermos For You"?

When there mid sentence in their introductions, just start singing.8)  Then pause for their response.

[Dawn]

LOL!!!!

Paul - still the lawyer child - can talk just about anyone into a circle.  Once in a while he will get a telemarketer sooo confused that they end up hanging up on him.   ;D

Dawn   :)

PS  I love our state's no call list.  

[Super Dave]

LOL!!!! Once in a while he will get a telemarketer sooo confused that they end up hanging up on him.   ;D

YEAH, BABY!  That's what I'm talkin' about!  PV's...Personal Victories!  That's where it's at!
 :)

[RC51Racer]

I have a brother-in-law that lives by himself, he gets them into long drawn out conversations. They don't even call anymore, I guess he got black balled.  :-*

Mike

[Litespeed]

If it's a female on the line, asking her what she's wearing usually gets a quick hang up.  Otherwise just have them repeat themselves constantly and see how long you can keep them on the phone.  We should post records in here and put money on who can go the longest :).

[RI-231]

I don't get the whole selling crap on the phone.  I do not know one person who has ever bought anything or seriousely listened with an inkling (?) of purchasing anything.  Where do they make all of there money?

I have it easy.

Me: Hello
TM: Is mister H..Hu..Hunemmmmm there?
ME: Nope He doesn't live here. click

I agree with Dave.  I see "out of area" on my caller ID and I am skeptical, but I say hello, wait till they say hello, then usually hang up.  Just so they have to pay for a $.02 call.  

[Super Dave]

Come on, Toby...

Next call you get, start babbling like Daffy Duck used to on the old Looney Toons.  

Or just respond in a whisper..."I like salad....I like salad."

No call lists are fine, caller ID is good...  But if you can make one Telemarketer go insane...  Remember, it's for the children. :)

[RI-231]

Dave,

I am sure I will have 3 or 4 chances to try that tonight.  I will let you know how it goes.  

[MudDawg]

My favorite to pull on telemarketers:

Telemarketer:  Is Mr. XXX there?

Me:  Who may I say is calling?

Telemarketer:  Blah blah blah....

Me:  Hold one moment....

(Hear a zipper in the background....)

Me:  (In a husky voice)  So what are ya wearing?


That pretty much ends the calling from that vendor.  hehehehehe

[diesel748]

Try the vegetable game! When they call just start yelling several types of veggies at them. The people have know idea whats going on.

[ecumike]

Ya know that TeleZapper kizmo they sell... you can do the same thing for free like this.....

Telemarketer's predictive dialers will erase your number from their lists if your answering machine starts with the first tone of Ma Bell's 3-tone sit.wav that preceeds "This number has been disconnected."

Simply save sit.wav to your desktop http://santelia.org/sit.wav

Then edit out the last 2 tones using MS Sound Recorder and play that single note on your computer and record it as the first sound on your answering machine's outgoing message.

[KBOlsen]

When they call asking for "Mr. Cummings", his first question to them is "Which one?"   (At one time, there was Sr., Jr. and III).  2 out of 5 calls will end at that point.  Sometimes he lets them go into their spiel, puts the phone down and walks away.  Nowadays, we only use the home phone for my modem... if someone wants to get in touch with us, they call my cell.

[pmoravek]

When I see "OUT OF AREA" on the caller ID.
I just pick up the phone and say...
"Thank you for calling Dominoes. Can I interest you in our Cinna-sticks special today?"

That usually does the trick.

[EX#996]

When I see "OUT OF AREA" on the caller ID.
I just pick up the phone and say...
"Thank you for calling Dominoes. Can I interest you in our Cinna-sticks special today?"

That usually does the trick.

LOL!!!!

Once in a while I would answer it as "Waupaca County Morgue" or "Amtrack" or "Winnebago Correctional Institute."

I usally got the same response you did.
_________________________________________________

I was at my friend's house (yeah, imagine that - someone who actually likes me - or maybe they were just being nice ;D) when her husband answered the phone and said:  "I'm sorry, I just can't talk right now, my wife died."

Needless to say I looked at my girlfriend with a bit of a stunned look.  She calmly said, "It must have been another credit card company."  I laughed so hard because the telemarketers usually don't know how to respond and end up ending the conversation.

Dawn   :)

[mj]

 ;D it works for me.... if you have  some spare time tie them up in conversation.....they hate it....for them time is money,,,,and at the end tell them that you need a job and ask if they're hiring ;D

[MZGirl]

A buddy of mine had an interesting response from a telemarketer with the local newspaper.

Telemarketer:  "Can I interest you in our weekend newspaper deal?"

Friend:  "Nah, man, I'm illiterate."  (of course making it up and thinking it was a good excuse)

Telemarketer:  [pause] "Hooked on Phonics worked for me!"

Friend:  "Dude, you're cool!"

[roadracer797]

Just tell them to hang on why you go take care of something real quick, then come back in a couple of minutes breathing hard and ask them why a dead body is so heavy. ;D

[Pit_Girl]

these are all TOO FUNNY!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D
 i would try all of these, but unfortunately we signed up for that no call list thingy... but unsigning just to screw with telemarketers does sound quite tempting....   ;)

-jen

[Super Dave]

Hey, these are good ones!  LOL! :o

[mj]

Just tell them to hang on why you go take care of something real quick, then come back in a couple of minutes breathing hard and ask them why a dead body is so heavy. ;D

 8)Because you're out of shape old man !!!   ;D

[roadracer797]

mj
Not that far out of shape. :D
Hey how you doing Mike?
Craig

[mj]

Craig, I'm doing pretty well, and am looking forward to watching you race this season.

Sounds like you bounced back from your injury and have that same great sense of humor  ;D

Are you an expert now ?

[EX#996]

Craig, I'm doing pretty well, and am looking forward to watching you race this season.

Sounds like you bounced back from your injury and have that same great sense of humor  ;D

Are you an expert now ?

I can answer that question....

Craig, the little sandbagger, only ran in classes that did not count towards the magic 500 pts.  But then again he didn't win a championship either.   :-*

Now he says that it is a good thing he is still an amatuer because of the head injury that he had this past summer.  Personally, I didn't notice any difference before or after the injury.   ;)

Dawn   ;D

[TZ_Boy]

Dawn do you no the stop call list number by chance?  We had the call block but certain call's were not getting through.

[EX#996]

Dawn do you no the stop call list number by chance?  We had the call block but certain call's were not getting through.

We signed up on-line.  Here is the link for the state of Wisconsin.

https://nocall.wisconsin.gov/web/home.asp

Dawn  :)

[TZ_Boy]

Wow was that easy.  It say's it will take until April 1st to take effect. Thank's ;D

[The_Other_Will]

You people are way too nice ...
Step 1. Ask the telemarketer for their 1-800 number - because you're busy at the moment.

Step 2. Have your computer call it overnight 3000-4000 times. (Costs them 50 cents a call at least). My target was MCI who was calling me from Ohio.

... this doesn't keep them from calling - but if you're evil, you get a warm feeling in your cold black heart.

Hope this helps.

[roadracer797]

Dawn
The reason you didn't see a difference is because you hit your head too many times when you were young.
Mike
No I'm not an expert, they didn't ask me to go up so hey I'm staying put this year.
Craig

[EX#996]

Dawn
The reason you didn't see a difference is because you hit your head too many times when you were young.

Craig

LOL!!!

That could be the reason.

Dawn   :)

[roadracer797]

could be I know so LOL

[Super Dave]

You people are way too nice ...
Step 1. Ask the telemarketer for their 1-800 number - because you're busy at the moment.

Step 2. Have your computer call it overnight 3000-4000 times. (Costs them 50 cents a call at least). My target was MCI who was calling me from Ohio.

... this doesn't keep them from calling - but if you're evil, you get a warm feeling in your cold black heart.

Hope this helps.

Nah, that's good...not evil.  Pay back's a ...