Future Wife Advice

[Lowe119]

I see that the other wife advice thread was locked up and the racer lost the battle. That doesn't look like good news to me.

Here's my situation -

An investment of mine is maturing this year and I plan on getting a new race bike. It is a small part of the money and the rest will go towards the house and vehicles. But I'm getting the feeling that the future wife is not liking the idea of buying an up-to-date race bike. I figured she would have no problem since it is MY money and MOST of it is being invested in OUR house and OUR vehicle debts.

Since I THOUGHT it wasn't a problem and I THOUGHT I have been mentioning my plans, I have been quite surprised at her reactions when I tell my friends that I'll have a new bike this year. She just looks at me and says "Ya right."

This is coming from a person who wants to spend as much or more on the wedding.....? And after the wedding, what do we have for our money - nothing but memories of crappy flowers, clothes, and music.

Any advice on where this seems to be going?  :-/  ;)  ???

[Dawn]

Oooo......

This is going to take more time to come up with a good answer.

I'll reply from home.

Dawn   ;)

[Dawn]

P.S.  Paul and I butt heads over the racing budget all the time, so don't start worrying too much.

 ;D

[Speedballer347]

I only date girls that wear 6" heeled knee-high boots and work the poles...they LOVE bikes! ;D

[Clay]

Easy, racing came before her and it will be there after her.  ;D  

[Lowe119]

I only date girls that wear 6" heeled knee-high boots and work the poles...they LOVE bikes! ;D

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=330

[r1owner]

I only date girls that wear 6" heeled knee-high boots and work the poles...they LOVE bikes! ;D

Can I pit with you this year?  ;D

[cardzilla]

Ohhh buddy do we need to talk.  Tell me there's nothing set in stone.  But seriously, I'll PM you my phone #, if you want to talk maybe I can help.

[Baltobuell]

Buddy, if you are having power struggles or doubts about YOUR money before you're married, SEE A MARRAGE COUNSELOR NOW! And postpone any plans! Her view of married may be alot different than yours.
 Growing testicles after the I do's is much more difficult once you are the only one to risk financial disaster.

[Shingle_Monkey]

I agree if your having problems now with your money it is only going to get worse.

The best thing my wife and I did were open seperate checking accounts. I still pay 90% of our bills, but she doesnt ask where my money goes or how much I have...aslong as the bills get paid.

I learned long ago with a girl I use to date...you gotta set the ground rules early...when your first start dating.

[EX#996]

Well, Paul and I started out with nothing so we could only go up from there.  EVERYTHING, we have is joint.

The good thing is that she's not against you racing.  Chalk one up into the + catagory.  The next thing you have to do is sit down and TALK IT OUT.....  in case you missed that TALK IT OUT....  

I have to agree with the boys on this one, you're not married yet, so technically, the investment is yours unless you live in a marital property state and you've been with her 'x' number of years.  What I would suggest is that you and your fiancee sit down and discuss what you're planning spending on the bike, what she's planning on spending on the wedding, and how much your planning on spending on the house (do you really need new vehicles?).

Talk it out and make a game plan.  You'll have to do that several times throughout your marriage and this is the first step.

Good luck,

Dawn   ;)

[dylanfan53]

Yeah, Dawn's got the rational approach.

I'd probably leave our your statement:

"And after the wedding, what do we have for our money - nothing but memories of crappy flowers, clothes, and music."

In my experience (extensive, I might add) women love junk like that and that'll come back at ya.   :)