ROFLMOOOOOOOO!!!

[KBOlsen]

I saw this on another BBS... and couldn't stop laughing.   :D

You might be a racer if...
>
> ...you know how to properly pronounce "Criville"
> ...you walk proper lines through the grocery store with the cart.
> ...you've ever had to explain the term "pucker factor".
> ...you've paid $5.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
> ...your idea of a decent sort of house to buy is one with a basement
> and a big garage, a downhill driveway so you can bump-start your
> racebike, and a working toilet on the property somewhere.
> ...you bought a race bike before buying a house.
> ...you bought a race bike before buying furniture for the new house.
> ...you're looking for a bike transport vehicle and still haven't
> bought furniture!
> ...you hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead
> of "Denny's".
> ...you sit on your race bike in the garage and make bike noises and
> shift and practice your throttle blipping/braking, while waiting for
> your motor to get back from the shop.
> ...you look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
> ...at least one of your children was conceived at a race track.
> ...your garage has more bikes than your house has bedrooms.
> ...you have enough spare parts to build another bike
> ...you have bike parts in your cubicle at work
> ...you registered for wedding gifts at Marietta Motorsports
> ...after your answer to "How was your weekend?" the next question is
> always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
> ...you've ported your 2-stroke lawn mower, chain saw, or weed eater
> ...your reading material in your bathroom consists of a 1-888-FASTLAP
> catalog, and 400 bike magazines, none of which have centerfolds.
> ...some people only know you by your racing class & bike number
> ...your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
> ...you plan your wedding around the race schedule.
> ...you complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't
> stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
> ...you tell a friend you need to clean up the head this weekend and
> they think you mean the toilet.
> ...you gladly pay $9 for a bottle of engine oil.
> ...you hate long distance driving, but gladly drive 800 miles to the
> race track.
> ...you save broken bike parts as "momentos".
> ...you've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas
> ...you've got 3 immaculate race bikes always race ready, but your
> wife has to nag you for 2 months before you fix the headlight in her
> car.


David Metze
MRA# 812
Red Hand Racing

[Steviebee]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[K3 Chris Onwiler]

I am sooooooo busted!

[Dawn]

How many of them apply to the Buxton's?

> ...you walk proper lines through the grocery store with the cart.

> ...you've ever had to explain the term "pucker factor".

> ...you've paid $5.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.

> ...your idea of a decent sort of house to buy is one with a basement and a big garage, a downhill driveway so you can bump-start your  racebike, and a working toilet on the property somewhere.  (Yep, we have that with 39 acres to play on, we just need to fix the dirt bikes now.   :-/)
 
> ...you bought a race bike before buying furniture for the house.

> ...you're looking for a bike transport vehicle and still haven't  bought furniture!

> ...you hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead  of "Denny's".


> ...you look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.

> ...your garage has more bikes than your house has bedrooms.

> ...you have enough spare parts to build another bike you have bike parts in your cubicle at work (only when necessary)

 
> ...after your answer to "How was your weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"


> ...your reading material in your bathroom consists of a 1-888-FASTLAP catalog, and 400 bike magazines, none of which have centerfolds.

> ...some people only know you by your racing class & bike number

> ...you complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't  stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.

> ...you gladly pay $9 for a bottle of engine oil.

> ...you hate long distance driving, but gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.  (this is Paul to a T)

> ...you save broken bike parts as "momentos". (nope, I draw the line at this one).

> ...you've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas

> ...you've got 1 immaculate race bikes always race ready, but your wife has to nag you for 2 months before you fix the headlight in her car.  (His response, you have another that is working  ;) ;D j/k)

[tzracer]

The list that does not fit me is much shorter.

You might be a racer if...
> and a big garage, a downhill driveway so you can bump-start your
> racebike, and a working toilet on the property somewhere.
> shift and practice your throttle blipping/braking, while waiting for
> your motor to get back from the shop.
> ...your first date involves asking her to crew for you.

My house has a partial basement (1880s Victorian), but the garage is off limits to cars and is heated and air conditioned.

My wife and I started dating during the  winter.

I only sent an engine away once, while it was gone, the bike was stripped and reassembled.

[K3 Chris Onwiler]

GSXR racers drift the grocery cart sideways, gently rubbing the merchandise with their elbows at each corner exit...

[StumpysWife]

How 'bout Stumpy's mom not wanting to ride behind Stump's Dad on his Shadow as she's afraid he'll "toss it".  Her words!  Also said, "But what if he highsides?"  She didn't understand what was so funny. Someone's been to too many races!

I didn't see anything about racing pitbikes up and down city streets at 1:00 am.  Or wearing your helmet and back protector and flinging yourself across the living room.  Or giving the thumbs up signal to the garbage man in the middle of the night because you think he's a corner worker/race official.  Hmmmm, maybe things in our house are not right.  

You know Stumpy loves me.  He still lets me park my truck in the garage, even though we now have 7 bikes in the 2 car garage.  His car & van are on the street.  ;D

Did I mention the five car garage with attached house up the street from us for sale?  Whoo hoo!  It's a dream boat!  Heh heh.   Of course if we bought it, we couldn't afford to race, but ya gotta dream!

Racers rule.  That's all there is to it.

Heather

[Steviebee]

GSXR racers drift the grocery cart sideways, gently rubbing the merchandise with their elbows at each corner exit...

I SOOO DO THIS !!

[StumpysWife]

I always get the cart with the mean head shake...Never fails.

[Mark Bernard]

I think we could give Jeff Foxworthy a new subject...
"You may be a road racer if.........?"

[Super Dave]

>you plan your wedding around the race schedule.


Yes....

X-mas involves me finding all kinds of tool catalogs, or ones that have cool things for my bus.  I circle, family buys.  What a country!

[Mark Bernard]

Only in America Dave... only in America! ;)