Midwest Mentality....

[racesbikes]

The hair on the back of my neck is standing up!

4 years at Michigan Tech (Houghton MI....the heart of the U.P) followed by 15 years in Chicago.

At least no one mentioned "pasties".

Or in Chicago where you can go "up south" or have a "coupla two tree" guys walking "side by each".

Phoenix is sooooooo nice.

 ;D

[AZ-MilleR]

For those in Arizona:

You might in Arizona if....
You buy salsa by the gallon.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.

You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.

Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".

You think 60 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.

You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.

You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

Every other vehicle is a 4x4.

You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.

Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees.

You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

The pool can be warmer than you are.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

Most homes have more firearms than people.

Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"

People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

The AC is on your list of best friends.

You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.

The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.

You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Ocotillo", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Ajo".

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.

You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.

You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.

Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain......"

When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.

Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.

You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.

[MELK-MAN]

LOL, Ike ....   588-2300!!!

you beat me too it.. i was Humming that damn commercial all afternoon trying to remember the #..

[Peanut]

Good one, Dawn.  But you left out Wisconsin on your list.  Which is ok, because we actually have a special set of tips for visitors (in addition to what you provided).

"How to save your a-s-s if you plan to visit Wisconsin this summer"[/i]
Issued by the Wisconsin Tourism Bureau to ALL visitors:
15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come out here and tell us how the prairies should "go back to the buffalo." This will get your a-s-s shot (right after it is kicked). Just mention this once and you will go home in a pine box. Minus your a-s-s.

Yea yea, I got 1 for ya, don't wear that straw hat and those overalls over here or what we eat for dinner won't just be Betsy the cow! ;)

Country people......... :o

[MZGirl]

Thanks AZ-MilleR.   :D  Being a 3rd generation native Arizonan, I got a real kick out of that!

[TiffineyIngram]

Redneck Family Tree

Many many years ago when I was twenty three,

I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.

  

This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red.

My father fell in love with her,   And soon the two were wed.

  

This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life.

My daughter was my mother,   For she was my father's wife.

  

To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy,

I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy.

  

My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad.

And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad.

  

For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother

To the widow's grown-up daughter Who, of course, was my step-mother.

  

Father's wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run.

And he became my grandson, For he was my daughter's son.

  

My wife is now my mother's mother   And it makes me blue.

Because, although she is my wife, She's my grandmother too.

  

If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild.

And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild.

  

For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw.

As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!

[Eddie#200]

588-2300! ;D

[Decreasing_Dave]

This thread reminds me why I'm happy I'm from and still live in the Southwest.   ;D ;)

WEEELLLLL....I'm glad SOMEONE is happy to be here. :-/