There's some good ones in here...

[OmniGLH]

But most of these are pretty funny.  I don't understand #1, don't agree with #4, #6 and #8 made me laugh.  Enjoy!


1. Every ride is optional. Every parking job is mandatory.

2. If you push the bars left, the bike goes left. If you push the
bars right, the bike goes right. That is, unless you continue
pushing the bars all the way, the bike will go down.

3. Riding isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

4. It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the
track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The rear wheel is just a big fan on back of the bike used to keep
the rider cool and his butt relaxed. If going into a corner too
fast, slamming on the rear brake causes the "fan" to abruptly stop.
When this happens you can actually see the rider start sweating and
his butt become tense.

7. When in doubt, slow down. No one has ever hit something too slow.

8. A good ride is one from which you can walk away. A great ride is
one after which you can use the bike again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to
make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've left the sidestand down when all left turn are
Bat-turns. You know you've left the centerstand down when you're in
1st gear at 4000 rpm going nowhere.

11. Never let an motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn't get
to three seconds earlier.

12. Always try to keep the number of times you put your sidestand
down equal to the number of times you put the sidestand up.

13. There are two simple rules for riding smoothly and fast in snow
and on ice. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of
experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you
empty the bag of luck.

15. If all you can see in your mirrors is sparks and all you can
hear is screaming from your passenger, things may not be as they
should be.

16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and
fiberglass going 100+ miles per hour and the ground going zero miles
per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for cars, large
trucks, and animals taller than you. Draws don't count.

17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the
experience usually comes from bad judgment.

18. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

19. Remember, gravity and centrifical force aren't just a good
ideas. They're laws and aren't subject to appeal.

20. The two most useless things to a rider are the braking distance
behind you and nine-tenths of a second ago.

[Super Dave]

4. It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the
track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.

Oh, been there...

I have ridden some interesting machines.

I had to walk away from a ride angry at Daytona because it was so bad.  I was worried that I was going to get hurt.

It was better to watch and wish you were riding the bike, because I was a really unhappy camper on that...

[Super Dave]

But most of these are pretty funny.  I don't understand #1
1. Every ride is optional. Every parking job is mandatory.

You don't have to ride...

But, once you do start riding, you'll eventually have to come to a stop...or die doing it...

[Dawn]

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Unless of course you're Ed Key.

 ;D