A Very Stumpy Christmas

[StumpysWife]

Dashing through the snow
On his shiny new race bike,
Said Santa to his elves,
This is what I like!

With the Honda power beneath him
Presents arrive much faster.
Stockings are hung by the chimney with care,
And no need for Donner or Dasher!

Away on the track
he flies in a flash!
Past Jack Frost on a Suzuki
Past Old Man Winter in a dash!

Racers heard him exclaim
as he wheelied out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all
And to all, a good bike!



To all of our racing friends and family, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Heather, Stumpy and the Team Stumpy Racing crew

[tigerblade]

Happy Holidays CCS peeps!

God Bless us, every one...

[bweber]

Does Santa Claus Exist?
An Engineer's Analysis
 
There are approximately two billion children (persons under eighteen) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times he normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas.

[K3 Chris Onwiler]

Oh Gixxers rock, Gixxers rock, Gixxers lead the way!
GSXR Zuki beats a Honda every day, Hey!
Gixxers rock, Gixxers rock, Gixxers all the way!
K3 Kev and Benji think that Honda's really gay!

 ;)  Luv you Heather!

[tigerblade]

Does Santa Claus Exist?
An Engineer's Analysis...
 
 ...Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas.

That's awesome!  LMAO!!!   ;D

[lil_thorny]

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Santa is gay.....
oh wait, you said Honda is gay....
oh, never mind...............................
 am I "Jack Frost" nope, I'm Scut Farcus from
"A Christmas Story"
the big bully who kicks your a$$ daily until the end of the movie when you get lucky and end up crying like a baby anyway.
You know............The new CBR 1000RR looks pretty tough tho.  The emphesis should be put on the word
pretty!!! As in girly....wussie....sissy....you get my snow drift!!!!

[Super_KC124]

Yellow plates? Looks like the making of the next YPS!

Oh, Suzukis rule, Hondas drool. :P

(Just kidding. Merry Christmas Team Stumpy ;D)

[Chef]

jingle bells  jingle bells
all but Honda mells.....

you really want a well rounded ride
but you really must just let it slide...
cuz you've got way too much pride
your remarks are a bit snide
but neither will protect your hide
from the onslaught of the honda
from which, neither can you hide....
you say, "i'll just take this bike or that,
everyone else has one
I'll get by"........






jingle bells jingle bells
jingle bells rock....
from now on when we pass you
we'll give you a sock!

jb..jb.. jingle all the waaayy....
oh what fun to see all the dismaaaaayyyyy....

Go HONDA ................

Ike

you clowns...

[K3 Chris Onwiler]

Ike, the last time I saw your Honda you and it were replaying the opening scene from "The Six Million Dollar Man."  
"Uh, Houston?  we have a problem.  I can't hold it!  She's breaking up, she's breaking up, she's..."

[tigerblade]

Ike, the last time I saw your Honda you and it were replaying the opening scene from "The Six Million Dollar Man."  
"Uh, Houston?  we have a problem.  I can't hold it!  She's breaking up, she's breaking up, she's..."

Yeah but he's got quite a story for when people ask him "Why do they call you Superman?"   :o ;D

[lil_thorny]

Ike,
don't quit your day job!!!!  ;D
 On the first day of racing...CCS gave to me....
a first place wooden trophy....
on the second day of racing...CCS gave to me...
2 first place wooden trophy's
on the third day of racing ...CCS gave to me....
3 first place wooden trophy's
etc...etc....etc....
On the last day of racing ...CCS gave to me
2 National Championships.....a track champion...25 wins...50 podiums...and a big fat kiss on the cheek!!!!

Merry Christmas everyone....