Wife demands i quit

[SlowDocDavis]

Anyone else here have a significant other who demands they quit riding........dont quite know how to handle it.....so after 15 years of marraige my answer is .....yes dear.

[Race125]

Sorry to hear  that. Don't have any advise though as my wife demands I NOT stop racing. After 18 years she knows me well enough that she cannot stand me if I am not racing.

[Woofentino Pugrossi]

Tell her you'll quit riding if she quits shopping.

[gigantic]

I'd be looking for another wife. Mine tried to give me the ol' "you love the track, more than you love me"... and became rather apoplectic when I didn't have a better reply than shrugging my shoulders and saying "uh-huh- and your point is?"

[r1owner]

Why after 15 years would she say that?

[dylanfan53]

I'd demand she quit.....nagging me, that is.   

[racer911]

i said the same thing to my last 2 girlfriends:  "i was doing this before i met you," and "you know what you signed up for." 

in your case, my first question to my wife would be, "why?"

[wolf44]

why after 15 years is she now telling you to quit?

[funsizeracing]

Does she go to the track with you?

[GSXR RACER MIKE]

Sadly today the media (in it's many forms) has socially trained both men and women to believe certain things that are not true. ATTRACTION is an extremely powerful emotion in women and is what keeps many/most women with their man, remove the attraction aspects of a relationship and many/most relationships will fade or fail. The most common mistake the media has trained many women to do is to try and control their man and also change him so he's less attractive to other women (to reduce the amount of cheating opportunities he potentially has). The problem with this is it generally backfires and she looses attraction for him as well, this exact scenerio happened with 6 guys I personally have known for quite a while. In the case of 3 of them they were great freinds of mine, all were fun guys that were very active (motorcycles, Jet-Ski's, snowmobiles, sports cars, etc.) and balanced that fun with their girlfreinds who then became their wives (I believe all 3 of them met their future wives thru owning motorcycles). It was sad to watch over time as all 3 of them were pressured by their wives to get rid of all their 'toys' and 'grow-up' (though in these cases the only 'toys' that weren't already paid for were their cars, so it wasn't to get rid of payments). The typical trend in these situations was that as soon as their kids gained some independence the wives no longer had that 'blind love' that young children have for their mothers (which is a very powerful emotion in itself), once those strong emotions were no longer present the wives started looking for that emotional 'fix' somewhere else. This is when they took a step back and realized that even though their husbands might be 'nice guys', they no longer inspired the strong emotions in them that they need and desire. This is the stage when all 6 of the guys I'm taking about had their wives cheat on them, ironically in EVERY case they cheated on their husbands with a 'bad boy' type. WHY? Because those guys inspired strong emotions in them, those emotions create strong ATTRACTION.

I personally had watched this scenerio happen over and over with so many couples and never saw it, the difference today is that I know what to look for and it's so obvious to me now. Call me a geek, but I actually spend ALOT of time researching the subject of attraction and have learned a tremendous amount about it. What I'm saying here is certainly not meant in a negative way toward women, it's merely information that I've collected from numerous sources that is amazingly accurate. In your case I personally believe that if you give up this part of 'who you are' without having something else that makes you attractive to her you will probably notice a drop in the attraction your wife feels toward you over time. That 'bad boy' side of you that has the balls to race inspires strong emotions in her, whether she expresses them outwardly or not. Women are taught by the media to 'test' their man (not saying that all women follow thru with this though), to see how much power she has over you, I believe this is one of those 'tests'. Women love a man who stands up for what he wants and believes, not a passifist ass-kisser who jumps every time she says jump - in most of those cases those relationships will eventually fail because he was too much of a 'nice guy'. I'm not in any way implying to be mean, I'm saying to stand up for what YOU want. Why are women attracted to the 'bad boy'? Because he's who HE wants to be, he does what he want's to do and brings her along for the emotional ride, he appreciates her but doesn't do everything she wants, he's not boring - he's sending her on an emotional rollercoaster ride that's like a drug for her. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women say how the best part of their relationships is when they have disagreements and 'make-up' afterwards - that's because it sent them thru an emotional rollercoaster that's a very powerful emotional drug to them. Why else do you think women stay with men who treat then like crap? Because they experience the rises and falls in emotion they so strongly desire when they are with him.

The question I think you need to answer for yourself is this: are you creating EMOTIONS in your wife that make her feel ATTRACTION for you, or are you just another person living in the same house as her? If other parts of who you are fullfill those desires in her then leaving racing may work for you (though I still believe this is a 'test' to see if you will 'obey' her command), either way I believe your wife MAY be at a point in her life were she's seeking emotions and MAY not even realize it herself. This may be a pivotol point in your relationship, make sure that your decision doesn't backfire and actually cause her to feel LESS attraction for you.

Take what I've said here as you will, but I truely have researched this topic for some time now. I'm certainly not an expert on this subject, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!  8)

[DavidV]

Damn, I have to say that is some impressive $hit Mike. i have to agree 100%.  Racing is not something we do, it's who we are

[roadracer162]

Well said Mike.