Hump day funnies.....

[Dawn]

Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Ole answered, "Panty Stitcher". "I sew the elastic onto lady's cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
 
Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week.
 
When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
 

 The Clerk explained "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor.""What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on the panties, Sven puts them over his head and says:
 

"Yah, diesel fitter."
 

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A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being  such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other  for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."  "Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic wand and - abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.  Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30  years younger than me".  The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand and -abracadabra! the husband became 92 years old.  

The moral of this story..... Men might be ungrateful idiots.... But fairies are......female!

[Dawn]

My lovely daughter Renee and I were looking at some well 'defined' men when I said, "Yeah, your dad used to have a six pack."  She promptly replied, "... and now he has a keg."  


 ;D

[Jeff]

ROFLMAO... My son said that I've got a 6-pack, it's just in a cooler...