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Public apology to Tom Short

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K3 Chris Onwiler

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Public apology to Tom Short
« on: August 12, 2004, 10:53:38 am »
Famous Harley quote:  If you have to ask, you'll never understand.

Well,  I've never understood, nor did I ever feel any need to ask.  Why would anyone ride a severely overweight motorcycle incapable of outrunning and outstopping traffic?  For my entire life, I've been a dedicated Harley basher and proud of it.
On my way to Road America Monday, I stopped to have dinner with Don DeChant.  Rhiannon decided to join us, so we were hanging out waiting for her to show up.  Don owns an early 80's shovelhead bagger with all the touring stuff shaved off and a pair of leather saddle bags.  This beast is a mixture of pitted chrome and black sealcoat primer, all covered with a lovely patina of oil spray and bug guts.  For some reason, I found the bike strangely attractive.  Don tossed me the keys, and after a few minutes of arguing, I finally agreed to take it for a spin.
There I was, rumbling through downtown Milwaukee in work clothes and sunglasses aboard a straight pipe shovel.  This went against everything I stand for, but dammit!  It really felt somehow... right.  I returned the bike after about 10 minutes, but Don said, "You're not done yet," and sent me back out.  Thirty more minutes on this lumbering brute and I was really starting to enjoy myself.  All the clanking, squeaking and popping were actually kind of endearing.  The bike was really sort of self-limiting.  It had adequate brakes for it's feeble ability to accelerate, and the overall balance of weight, handling, brakes and horsepower just dictated a mellow cruise.  Rumbling through the town of it's birth, I was beginning to understand why such an antique design could be so appealing to so many riders.
When I returned to Don's shop, Rhiannon had arrived.  She said "Oh, look!  K3 on a Harley!" and jumped on with me.  Of course, nothing else would do but to take the bike to dinner, right?
Now I was in full HD mode.  I had the ultimate accessory; a beautiful girl in her 20's clinging tightly to me!  The grey left my hair, my beer gut shrank, and my... um... yeah.  I guess you don't need to know about that part...  As I rolled along scareing pigeons out of viaducts and setting off car alarms, I finally understood what this whole Harley thing is all about.
And God help me, I LIKED IT!
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The frame was snapped, the #3 rod was dangling from a hole in the cases, and what was left had been consumed by fire.  I said, "Hey, we've got all night!"
Read HIGHSIDE! @ http://www.chrisonwiler.com

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spyderchick

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Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2004, 11:05:52 am »
Chris, you have completely and utterly freaked me out.  :o

It's just s nightmare...it's just a nightmare...it's just a nightmare... ;)
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Alexa Krueger
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EM JAY

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Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2004, 11:30:33 am »
  Wake up!!!   Don't follow the Dark Side!!!!    USE THE FORCE MAN!!!!     :o
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Michael Jordan
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  Thanks to Expert Racing Ltd. in Chicago and Madness Custom Choppers of Fox Lake

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Woofentino Pugrossi

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Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2004, 11:38:45 am »
Now you should test ride a new one. ;D Hopefully things work out and I can get my Nighttrain next spring.  ;D
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Rob
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SliderPhoto

Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2004, 11:41:13 am »
The END is near!  ;D

My brother had an old 34? stump puller, springer front, suicide clutch with hand shifter. It was fun just to take out and putt.  I'd like to have a street fighter of sorts, something like the Boost King concept bike awhile back, brutale, or that new Kaw looks kind of cool with some mods.
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MudDawg

Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2004, 12:34:02 pm »

Damned Harley Maggot!!!

;D
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Jeff

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Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #6 on: August 12, 2004, 12:42:57 pm »
You do realize that there are people who cut & burn themselves for pleasure right?

Seek help my friend...

I can see the mullet growing already...
« Last Edit: August 12, 2004, 12:46:36 pm by JeF4y »
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Bucket List:
[X] Get banned from Wera forum
[  ] Walk the Great Wall of China
[X] Visit Mt. Everest

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bweber

Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2004, 01:44:21 pm »
As a loyal Ducati owner and a die-hard sportbike rider, I was standing in your shoes about 6 years ago when I got my first Harley-Davidson motorcycle, a Dyna Wide Glide.  Then a few years later, I purchased an Ultra Classic and a year or two after that I traded the Dyna for a V-Rod.
I have found there is a purpose for every bike.  If I want to take the wife for a 2 to 3 hour bike ride, we take the Ultra.  If I want to cruise to the store or run an errand in town, I chose the V-Rod and if I want to have a exhilarating weekend ride on rural county blacktops, I dust off the 996.  Don't hate the brand or stereotype the riders, it's all good and riding any motorcycle is better than working or sitting in a cage stuck in traffic!
Now that it is in you blood I bet you feel the need to hear that “potato - potato - potato” every so often.  
BTW, unless your after 16-18 year olds (and who’s not to some degree) ;D, I have found that a Harley-Davidson attracts women like no other brand, including Ducati!
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Mark Bernard

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Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2004, 08:25:47 pm »
Welcome to reality Chris! Nothing like a Harley. Never will be. They may leak, break down, may not the fastest, there loud and obnoxious, they set off car alarms, attract cops, piss off the neighbors, facinate children, scare old ladies, excite young girls, but once you ride one.... you get hooked real fast! Welcome to the dark side...  8)
« Last Edit: August 12, 2004, 08:28:29 pm by Buell_391 »
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Mark (Bernie) Bernard
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duc995@aol.com

Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2004, 09:44:08 am »
 :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
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duc995@aol.com

Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2004, 09:45:59 am »
I always thought that a Harley sounded more like public flatulence than "potatoe...etc." ;D
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K3 Chris Onwiler

  • They were good gerbils, and they gave me much pleasure.
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Re: Public apology to Tom Short
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2004, 10:28:58 am »
With time, the effect is starting to fade.  I think I should be all right, as long as Rhiannon doesn't start selling bikes at a Harley dealer... ;D
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The frame was snapped, the #3 rod was dangling from a hole in the cases, and what was left had been consumed by fire.  I said, "Hey, we've got all night!"
Read HIGHSIDE! @ http://www.chrisonwiler.com