Why expectant fathers spend nights on the couch...

[TiffineyIngram]

Because they send their wives "cute" emails like this one:

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

[Dawn]

OOOOOooooooo......      :o


I did think it was funny though!

Dawn   ;D

[am_#65_john_deere]

i laughed till i hurt,

my wife is 5 month pregnant, and yes one minute she kathy, and the next, i have no idea who she is.

i know it;s hormones and stuff,
butt :) a little light hearted humour for the lad's is no reason to get pissed at eric.

he's just being himself, GIVE-EM A BREAK >:( >:(

[bmfgsxr]

haha, that is great.

[Team_nuclear123]

ROFL!!!  I love it !!

My wife is 8 weeks with our second.... There is no way in HELL I'd show her that!!!  Never know which hormone cycle she is on at the moment....

 ;D ;D ;D

[Eric Kelcher]

Well here is rest of the email. (or the joke part at least)
Why We Love Children
>
> (or, at least one reason why)
>
> 1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but
> it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked
> her pupil. "Because I pisssed in its ear and it didn't move,"
> answered the child innocently.
> You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You
> know, "explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and
> it didn't move."

> 2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
> later....."Da-ad...." "What?"
> "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your
> chance. Lights out."
> Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?"
> "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
> I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
> Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
> "WHAT!"
> "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
>

> 3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into
> mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into
> Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in
> and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St.
> Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
>

> 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother
> was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the
> light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will
> you sleep with me tonight?"
> The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
> "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
> A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
> "The big sissy."

> 5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
> children's sermon. All the children were invited to come
> forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty
> dress and, as she sat down, the
> pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is
> it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into
> the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a
> ***** to iron."

> 6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three
> year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to
> get into the shower.
> She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
> I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in
> her tummy."
> "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

> 7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to
> himself,
> "Two plus five, that son of a ***** is seven.
> Three plus six, that son of a ***** is nine...."
> His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you
> doing?"
> The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
> "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother
> asked.
> "Yes," he answered.
> Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What
> are you teaching my son in math?"
> The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
> The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus
> two, that son of a ***** is four?"
> After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I
> taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

> 8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of
> Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story
> where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "....
> and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky
> is falling, the sky is falling!"
> The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think
> that farmer said?"
> One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said:
> 'Holy ****! A talking chicken!'"
> The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

> 9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
> "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
> Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane
> Sugarbrown."
> The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you
> Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
> She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
>

> 10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play
> with the boys?"
> Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're
> too rough."
> The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
> "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

> 11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She
> stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair
> cut, eating a snack cake.
> The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on
> your Twinkie."
> She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

PS I didn't sleep on the couch.  ;D

[am_#65_john_deere]

nice one ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

i showed my wife these and she nearly pissed herself ;D ;D ;D ;D

[garthed]

My wife is 6 months along. I like the recliner better then the couch.

Garth

[AZ-MilleR]

My wife is Due Feb 24th and as result I will miss the opening round at Firebird Feb 21-22.  How's that for timing?  Now is definately not the time to show her fat jokes.  

[TiffineyIngram]

Eric's plan is to go to Laguna...

Here's a funny story:
Brian Baker and I were talking at No Problem Raceway, and we discovered that we were both expecting.  After some more talking, we realized we're due 5 days apart.  After a bit more talking, turns out we both got pregnant at Daytona.  After MORE talking, turns out we were at the same hotel.

Moral of the story: Don't get frisky at the Suburban Lodge at Daytona.

[K3 Chris Onwiler]

Eric's plan is to go to Laguna...

 After a bit more talking, turns out we both got pregnant at Daytona.  After MORE talking, turns out we were at the same hotel.

quote]
That must have been one HELL of a party, especially for Brian...

[StumpysWife]

HA!  I KNEW there was a reason we didn't go to Daytona!!!!!  

(Please, do not let Stumpy's Dad read this thread...)

Heather ;)