What do women want?

[ice]

This is the ultimate truism. No sense trying to top this one ... never
happen!

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring
kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth
and ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a
very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer.
If, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young
Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death,
he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: The princess, the
prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. He spoke with
everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people
advised him to consult the old witch as the witch was famous throughout the
kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to
the witch.
She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first:
The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the
Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified: She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one
tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never
encountered such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to
marry her and have to endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that
nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the
preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question
thus: What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that
Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted
Arthur total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and
anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put
her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable.

The honeymoon hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific
experience, entered the bedroom.

But what a sight awaited him! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay
before him! The astounded Gawain asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the
time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.
 
Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?

What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day, a
beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old witch?

Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments?

What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until
you've made your own choice. * * * * * *

 

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

And the moral of this story?
If a woman doesn't get her own way, things are going to get ugly.

[EX#996]

LOL!!!!!

That is as good as the little fly story.


Dawn   :)

[Chef]

  Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, " I
 clocked you at 80 mph. sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise
 control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
  Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly, " Now don't
 be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
  As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his
wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
 The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your
 radar detector went off when it did."
  As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
 detector  unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "
Dammit woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."
  The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing
 your seat  belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah,
 well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so
 that I  could get my license out of my back pocket."
  The wife says," Now dear you know very well that you didn't have
 your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
  And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT TO HECK UP??"
 The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
lways talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
 "Oh heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."
  
signed
Happily Divorced