How far would YOU go to make a race weekend?!

[PJ721]

Hope the baby comes early...otherwise I'd be home - I wouldn't miss the birth of a child for anything.

[catman]

Hey Scott - I guess we will miss you at Summit-good luck w/your decision and congrats on your reoccuring great rides- My kids are quite grown and telling them i was too busy to be with their birth giving mother,cause i was racing "might be a lil uncomfy"-I know youll make a good decision" -----I spent 8 mos in Pheonix at MMI in 1980-went to LA (santa fe springs) to US Suzuki mech courses 12 weeks to get closer to w-a-t-e-r 8),enjoy the AZ weather  :spank:if you can take it! Good Luck from me and prolly all the other Mid atlantic folks who have seen you ride! :thumb:John in NJ

[stephenr928]

Scott,
Good Post (& good question, too).
Mike,
I did read your entire post.  May I recommend therapy? 

Okay, I've got two cents, may I play?
My wife just gave birth to our first baby 3 weeks ago & the event necissitated some lifestyle changes.
(I can hear Mike groaning!)
This season would be my fourth season racing, but the pregnancy was coupled with a move across 1/2 the country....And I'm a big fan of choosing the 'path' that is the least complicated; so I elected to do one race - then take the season off.
(I can picture Mike shaking his head in disgust....So I'm going to post a threadjack next!)
Anyway,  some quick points:
-My wife is my suger-momma.  Yet I'm allowed to do anything, anytime, anywhere I want.  Mutual respect in the relationship is what governs my boundries.
-She comes to get me from the hospital after my crashes (staying the night with me if necessary).  She is always calm, positive & humorous....She's always focused on when am I getting back to racing (or whatever the next event is).
- She's done 16 years in the Navy.  She wants to have a baby & she's 37.  (& I'm going to have to be the stay-at-home-Dad, too!!  Ugh!!)  But, I like the idea of being a good partner for her.  So I'm in.

In closing, I'm getting involved in adventure racing/trail running/mountain bike racing during this summer to try & keep my fitness up....The first MTB race of the summer series was scheduled for the weeknd she was due to give birth.....And she went on time! (I was sooooo hoping she'd be late....I had it all planned, too!)
Well, ironically, the race got rained out & re-scheduled for the end of the month!   Hooray for fate!!
Do the right thing for your partner.  Enjoy the experience.  (Marriage involves balance....Or sacrifice, depending on Mike's view!)  There will be other races.

I never thought I'd have an experience that would rival/surpass winning my first race....But the birth of our baby eclipsed every event in my life.  (& I don't even LIKE babies!!!)  Being with my wife during labor & delivery defies description.  You won't want to miss the event.

My wife suggested you not pre-register for the race weekend...If the baby shows up early, no $ lost.  If the baby is late....Go race!
Good Luck!

[stephenr928]

I have to do a quick thread-jack....Please pardon my indulgence!

Mike, I've been married for 12 years to a chick in the military (divorce rate in the Navy is over 67%!)...I hear what you're saying, but there are ways around the marriage trap.
First, I'd like to offer a distilled version of your post to make sure I'm getting the point:

-Men get married expecting 'things' to remain unchanged.  Women get married expecting 'things' to change.  Expectations are not met, bitterness & discontent follow.

I just have to defend marriage as a butt-ton of work.  In my experience, it is never a balance of 50-50 effort....Both parties have to feel like it's 70-30, each person giving 70%!  Oh, but the hard work pays off!
That said, the ultimate balancing component has to be (honestly) knowing yourself....And remembering to be your own best-advocate!  Communicating your needs & desires with your spouse is what helps give the realationship direction.  (It's the fine line between being selfish with your needs & sacrificing for your partners needs.)

Mike, I owned a motorcycle when I dated my wife, after school I sold it to move to where she was stationed...But then bought another one before we got married.  That bike needed to get sold when we moved to Alaska, but then I bought another one when we finished with Alaska.  She knew motorcycling was important to me, so she took MSF classes, and bought her own bikes.  (Heck, she took a race school just to see what the track was like!)  The best story of why my spouse rocks:
-I crash into the wall at Gateway (St. Louis), I get transported, I get released, I try to drive home, I get dizzy, woozy & throw-up...So I check into a hotel.  She flies down the next day, to drive me home (Omaha).   Well, we are white-water rafting the Upper Gauley the next weekend (West Virginia, http://www.narr.com/upper_gauley_lower_gauley.html) & she drives us the whole way...Stopping every 3 hours so I can walk around and stretch (trying to limit blood clots from my encounter with the wall).  At one of our stops there's an RV dealership, and we see a 31 foot Funmover (http://www.fourwinds-rv.com/funmover/).  She thinks this is exactly what we need to support any future racing (& crashing).  So she buys one in the off season....And when I crash, she puts me on the couch, straps me in & drives me home.

After first enduring marriage, then tolerating marriage, and finally enjoying marriage, I'd like to point out that I was always allowed to buy stuff to support my hobbies.  Remember, I don't have a carreer, so I just work p/t jobs wherever we move ....She pays for everything.

-Final story of why she's a great spouse....I'm taking off this season with m/c racing, but I've got friends in VA who do MTB racing, and they tell me to get involved with the sport.  I have to get a bike, so I'm shopping for a $500-$700 bike...She gets into the research & insists I do it right & get a $2000 Specialized (http://www.specialized.com/bc/SBCBkModel.jsp?arc=2005&spid=9655), then she goes with me to races & volunteers!  While she's pregnant!

Mike, I know I'm sounding like an ad for eHarmony or some crappy Anne Landers sap, but good chicks are out there.  I don't have to deal with any emotional manipulation shit.  I don't have to change......I just get to live the dream.
(Ummmm.....But did I mention there was alot of work early on?)
Again, pardon the thread-jack....Please return to the poll of why racers should be with their wives during birth.
Cheers,
 

[GSXR RACER MIKE]

Keeping blinders in place! 

[StumpysWife]

Maybe your baby will be early and none of this will matter anyway.

Actually you'll probably see that if you do decide to stay home and your baby comes that weekend, none of this really matters anymore anyway. 

It's nothing about your wife or marriage.  It's really about you and your baby. 

Congrats!!!

Heather

[weggieman]

Stay home, hire Janisch for the weekend and win............. The victories are for the team not just you.  Take the time off and let the rest of the team handle it. Unless you don't trust them and I don't think I would want to tell them that or there may not be a team for long.

Just my .02 cents.

[endoracing]

Stay home, hire Janisch for the weekend and win

better yet .. I'll ride for you for free.. granted you'll probably lose (horribly at that), but it won't cost you anything...

[goldwing70]

Great response Steve!  I can see myself pondering this dilema but only for a few minutes.  You gotta stay for the birth!  Any addition to the family should be a significant event, trumps racing every time for me.

[jer271]

If jessie isnt availible, I am.

[catman]

Me 2--- i actually beat some Liteweight folks that finished their race july 1 at summit- sure beats having to say i only beat the ones that crashed or basically DNF-some resume huh?

[GSXR RACER MIKE]

I purged my posts here so people won't question their version/interpretation of reality.