Handy tools

[dylanfan53]

It's quiet so I decided to use some bandwidth.  Enjoy...

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in mudguards just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

MOLE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

I've got more...

[dylanfan53]

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.

A personal favorite of mine...

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying. (or snatches the piece you're drilling and drives it some distance into your hand.)
 
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouc...."

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

Had enough?

[dylanfan53]

Last few...

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.

BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulphuric acid from a battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 60 years ago by someone in Detroit, and rounds them off.

 ;D

[Gixxer124]

I just finished a major all night car repair. I want more!!! ;D

[EX#996]

More.... more.... more.....    ;D

[Gixxer124]

REPAIR MANUAL: A book that list "most" of the steps required to do the job. :'(

[EX#996]

I just finished a major all night car repair. I want more!!! ;D

Pfffiiiitttttt.......

Paul took four hours putting a new front door on the house.  Although it does still need to be trimmed and the handles put on, so technically the clock is still running.......


 ;)

[dylanfan53]

I'll keep looking.  I'm cleaning out old files on this computer.   ;D

[EX#996]

REPAIR MANUAL: A book that list "most" of the steps required to do the job. :'(

What exactly were you repairing?

[Gixxer124]

97 Grand Am. 3.1L V6. Suffering from lifter noise and excessive grunge build up. Removed upper and lower intake. Power steering pump, alternator, motor mounts, air box, coil pack, and most of the wiring harness. Removed and cleaned the rocker arms and pushrods. Diassembled the "non servicable" hydraulic roller lifters, cleaned them and reassembled them. Put everything back together. Runs like a top. Must sleep now. ;)

[Gixxer124]

I wished they had to assemble the engines in the car at the factory. Maybe you could actually get to all the bolts needed to work on them. >:(
I'm just glad I have long skinny fingers. :)

[K3 Chris Onwiler]

Hey YPSBWPCRHSCDS, how'd ya like the book? ;)