Wives and racing... the saga cont.

[dlgygax]

I got the "race or get divorced" ultimatum a couple years ago...

I wish I would have started racing 15 years ago...

[r1owner]

Just glad to be done.  I'm actually excited about racing and eventually finding a girl that is into racing also.

Might want to check this thread out then!  ;D

http://forums.13x.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=78355

[clutch]

Wierd, for me before I got married I did ALL the SAME things I do now, except now its tearing us apart.  I raced, worked a lot of OT and went out with friends.  She never wants to go out, go to the races with me or basically do anything.  Its all blamed on the dog, no one to watch the dog..bullshit I say.  I have tried everything..she refused to go to marriage counseling, I refuse to quit racing and control riding...I did it before I was married and she knew who she was marrying..job, racing and all.  Just dont know what to do.  My family is all for racing and everything else I do, I want to include her in everything, but she wont do anything.  We argue non stop and I just think its about at the end.  Women (some) are wierd....she knew everything I did before we married, and now its some big freakin problem.

[K3 Chris Onwiler]

Sean, you're talking about my wife.  It was tough for a while, but I made sure to constantly tell and show her that she was my girl, and that I loved her, and that I missed her when I went away, and that I couldn't wait to tell her about it when I got home.  Eventually, she accepted me for who I am, and now things are fine.  The key is to make sure she doesn't feel like fourth or fifth most important thing in your life.  My wife stays home, but she is finally OK with my racing and STT coaching.

[stephenr928]

Larry,
What a f*cking train wreck.....
I'm so sorry to hear your tale of woe.  I count my lucky stars for my good marriage when I hear stories like that.  As always, K3 has offered some steller advice, too.  

Fellow racers can relate to tough situations, this sport offers some of the best moments in life.....As well as some of the lowest moments imaginable.  One constant remains steady, my racing friends "get it", they always understand, and they always got my back.

It may be a couple of years, but one day we'll be at the same track...and I'll have a beer & a brat waiting for you!
Good luck with the next chapter in your life.
Cheers,

[Baltobuell]

Well, you're not the first guy to give up everything for a lost cause. But at 32 I have to compliment your maturity on the matter. (Myself, I went absolutly mental.) K3 has the best advice there is, look ahead. The right woman is out there. Do what you really want to do, Aspire to who you really want to be, and never let anyone have the power over you to change that.

[L8brake731]

Larry:

Sorry to hear that you gave it up for HER :(.  Ditto on what K3 said; M/C racing is a total focus sport, you didn't need the anchor in the pits anyway.
Get it together and live Your life, get out there soon and kick ass!
The right woman will come along, probably some "pit tootsie" (boy did I just date myself or what?).

[tug296]

Wow Larry, sorry to hear of this.

[tomdavid]

That is a big mess to go thru and I know too much about it from 1st hand experience.

I was married at 19, she was 18 and we had our first kid when I was 20. Whe I got interested in racing ( dirt and cars in 1964! ) she threw a royal fit. That woman made my life a real trial for the next few years with numerous affairs, constant berating, all of which she blamed me for and which I,  in my inexperienced youth, accepted. Cut that knot after 6 years but it took me a long time to think of women in a positive way.

My current wife and I have been married since 1974 and it has been heaven. Since she accepts me without reservation she has always accepted some of the nutty stuff I do. Like starting road racing at age 62! yikes. My kids ( all from the first wife ) and all the grandchildren call her " the good Grandmother ". I have come to believe that nothing beats a good marriage and nothing is worse than a bad one. Seems like you have had your " bad one ".

BTW, as a joke ( well sort of ) I tell my buddies that I'm keeping peace in the family by taking her to the BMW dealer and letting her pick out whatever car she wanted. It took Andy Feuersthaler and Brian Baker to point out how dangerous that was as she could have picked one of those hideously expensive 7XX of 6 XX series. Luckily she picked a 325.  :)

[Jack_Brock]

What an evil biatch!  Hope she gets a nasty pox...

I must second the medical marvel's opinion here.

[bmfgsxr]

what a raw fucking deal man.. i hope you have a good lawyer because she shouldnt get shit from you since she was an adultress!

and go win some more races now!

[spyderchick]

Its all blamed on the dog, no one to watch the dog..bullshit I say.  

Get rid of the dog.  Seriously though,  like you can't bring a dog to the track. I would say the issues are much deeper. Life is a funny thing, and sometimes we can't be expected to know it all. Try to work it out, failing that, counseling, failing that, time for some serious thought. Good luck.