Motorcycle Racing Forum

Racing Discussion => Racing Discussion => Topic started by: Xian_13 on December 09, 2004, 04:39:38 PM

Title: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Xian_13 on December 09, 2004, 04:39:38 PM
This is more of a vent then anything...

But most of of the people here are married or in long term Relationships...

How much does one tolerate before you through in the towel?

When I say tolerate, I do not mean actions like Lying, cheating or conspiring againt you.

Having a string of long term relationships that end after a few years... I am sitting in the same boat again. I feel like I am chasing "chatter" in the suspension of my bike... There is no way to explain it.. its just chatter  :-X

XIII
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: dylanfan53 on December 09, 2004, 05:05:05 PM
I dunno, but I'd rather try to figure out chatter in a suspension than a woman.  :-/
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EX#996 on December 09, 2004, 05:05:51 PM
It takes two to make a relationship work....

If you're finding that the same thing keeps happening over and over again - I hate to say it - but perhaps its time you take a look at yourself.   People are attracted to a certain type of person, unfortunately, that person may not be the best match for you.  You may need to 'broaden' your horizons a bit and go out with someone you would have never considered before.

Good luck...

... the dating scene sucks.  Thank God I got out.

Dawn   ;)

P.S.  Paul and I set the rules from the beginning of our relationship, if either one of cheated, there would be....  Well you know.

Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: GSXR RACER MIKE on December 09, 2004, 05:48:13 PM
     Xian, don't feel too bad, I gave up on relationships years ago! Defenitely a great feeling to be able to do what you want, when you want, with who ever you want. :)

     It was far too late for me before I figured out that women WANT controversy in their lives (as/per my observations). I did it all wrong and was a nice guy, man was that wrong! All the guys I know that treat their woman like dirt (to some degree) have them staying by their side thru it all, go figure!?
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 09, 2004, 05:57:44 PM
QuoteHow much does one tolerate before you through in the towel?



In my honest opinion, if you have to ask, chances are you are already at that point.  But, before you make that decision, make sure your that's what your asking and it's not induced from other sources.

Good luck
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Baltobuell on December 09, 2004, 08:12:37 PM
 I don't know how old you are but it sounds like you don't have kids yet. If not, go find a PARTNER or go to counseling to see if she wants to become partners. Once you do have kids it's too late to make changes without the rest of your life being difficult.
 People fight about 3 things, seriously, only 3. Sex, Money, and Power. Identify where your problems are coming from and you can solve them. With masked bags of garbage being thrown around it's hard to identify, but it sounds like power to me and she's searching to control you or your money.
 Another reality is, the only person you can really control is yourself and most people aren't even too good at that.

PS: From personal observation, so don't take this as fact, but it seems the HOT factor plays a big role in power struggles. If she's smokin hot, she's used to guys eating a yard of shi* to get where it came from. If that's the case, it was a fun ride but it's time to move on. Life is too short. Good Luck.
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: spyderchick on December 09, 2004, 09:44:46 PM
QuotePeople fight about 3 things, seriously, only 3. Sex, Money, and Power.

It's all about 1 thing...power. Sex and money are forms of power and control.

Just my lil' ol' 2 cents.

Xian, don't know what you can do, but Dawn is right. It takes two to tango, and even then, someone has to lead. Discuss up front all of the things that will make a good match for you. A short list would include: politics, ethics, financial style, lifestyle, do you want to have kids, how would you raise those kids, religion, health, "baggage" from other relationships...etc.

You can disagree, but you have to prioritize and compromise on important stuff or it won't work. If you can't talk without shouting, that's a bad sign. If you keep things from each other, even worse. You each have to think about your contributions to the relationship, good and bad.

Good luck. I wish you happiness in love.
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Mark Bernard on December 10, 2004, 01:11:18 AM
Punt!
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Baltobuell on December 10, 2004, 05:05:39 AM
"It's all about 1 thing...power. Sex and money are forms of power and control. "
 Alexa, you left yourself wide open there but I'll be nice ;D can be, not "are"
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Jeff on December 10, 2004, 05:45:31 AM
Marriage is one of the most rewarding/difficult/painful things a person could go through.  

I've been in a marriage that was doomed to fail for 14 years (next wed 12/15).  Everyone said we were stupid and would not make it.  We're still here...

Is it easy? no.  Is it fun?  Sometimes..  Is it worth it?  You bet.

It's about compromise, listening, forgiving and patience.  It's not a 50/50 environment.  It's a 100/100 environment.

I wish I could say I'm the perfect husband and have it all figured out, but I can't say that.  I make mistakes, I take more than I give, I interrupt and don't listen.  But at the end of it all, I wouldn't trade my Wife for the world, and I'd give the world for her.  

If you enter a relationship thinking that divorce is an option, you will fail.  Go in with the concept that it's NOT an option and you'll do much better.

We've spent the majority of our marriage very isolated from family.  We typically lived +1000 miles from any family member.  This did us very well.  It forced us to work out our own problems vice the 'give up and run to mommy' approach which I see too often from others.

Now, we're about 200 mi from family, and that's about the closest I'd care to be.

I don't know.  I guess God smiled on us when he brought us together...  
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 06:46:16 AM
It's take a lot of compromise and love to keep a relationship going! My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years, of those eight we have "thrown in the towel" and got back together ten times. Sad huh?  The simple fact is we realized we were not happy without each other. If the good times outweigh the bad, it's worth fighting for.  

My boyfriend has finally realized that:  
" Women always have the last word........the next word out of a man's mouth is the start of a new arguement. "  ;D ;D   ;)
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Chuck on December 10, 2004, 07:15:28 AM
Einstien did a study on women and his only conclusion was that women don't know what they want.  How in the world are we as men to figure out what they want and what keeps them happy if they don't even know.  I just try and stay out of the way and gladly hand her my wallett on demand.  That usually pacifies her for an hour or so.  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 07:19:47 AM
Quote" Women always have the last word........the next word out of a man's mouth is the start of a new arguement. "  ;D ;D   ;)


True, but there's only one reason men can't win an argument:  

The issue has to make sense for men to argue it.  

With women, it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, they'll argue it anyways.  Guys don't do that.  If it doesn't make sense, we don't argue it.  


 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 07:24:34 AM
Also, women plot a future argument.  For instance, if you do something a women doesn't like, she doesn't say anything about it then.  It gets saved for future use on the next arguement.  This way, when they don't make sense, they switch it up on you to something you did a month ago. For example, a month ago you forgot to take out the trash on garbage day.  They don't say anything.  Then, you complain about something like the laundry not getting done, and then they go off on you for being a slob and such, and when they don't make sense any more, they bring up you forgetting to take out the trash that one time.  So, you just lost that one.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Jeff on December 10, 2004, 07:34:17 AM
Learn and understand this...  Women rule the world.

It's the power of 'vitamin P'.  They've got it, we want it, they win.  

This is not negotiable, it's fact...  (well, unless you ride the other bus).
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EX#996 on December 10, 2004, 07:47:43 AM
Some of you guys are clueless.....

... but hey, if it makes you feel better to think that were illogical, undecisive, unmanagable creatures - knock yourselves out.

 ::)

Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: spyderchick on December 10, 2004, 08:14:21 AM
QuoteAlexa, you left yourself wide open there but I'll be nice ;D can be, not "are"
 

I humbly stand corrected.  ;)

But, to be fair, in some relationships, it is all about the control. Roger and I have a good balance, there aren't any control issues. When there are power stuggles, and this doesn't matter whether it's you significant other, your kids, parents, co workers or friends, there will be trouble.
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Stinger562 on December 10, 2004, 08:25:18 AM
If she is  Lying, cheating and conspiring againt you it will only get worse.  Life is to short and these things wear you thin.
Kick the lying, cheating sack to the curb!!!
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 08:27:20 AM
Quote... but hey, if it makes you feel better to think that were illogical, undecisive, unmanagable creatures - knock yourselves out.

 ::)


And women have yet to prove wrong that argument?  ::) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EX#996 on December 10, 2004, 08:35:29 AM
QuoteAnd women have yet to prove wrong that argument?  ::) ;D

Look at most of my posts or Alexa's for that matter....

Point proven.

 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EM JAY on December 10, 2004, 08:36:14 AM
   How's the sayings go?  

  Ditch the bi%&# and lets race

  Women are fun but not as easy to ride

  Got a bike for my girl, gee I'm gonna miss her...

   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EM JAY on December 10, 2004, 08:37:59 AM

 Yea I'm single too!!   ;)
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EX#996 on December 10, 2004, 08:40:08 AM
I give up...

... but until you guys get a clue, you will end up at the track alone.

Paul, Stumpy and some others have it figured out.  Tell me your not jealous when you see them at the track.  The have the best support anywhere - from their wives!

 :)
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EX#996 on December 10, 2004, 08:41:31 AM
QuoteYea I'm single too!!   ;)

and always will be...

but some people are OK with living their lives alone.
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EM JAY on December 10, 2004, 08:45:41 AM
Quoteand always will be...

but some people are OK with living their lives alone.
:(    Now my feelings are hurt.   :(  Untill I get a clue right?  ;)    Believe it or not it is by choice  ;D   Plus I can't afford one anyway!!   :P
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: spyderchick on December 10, 2004, 09:00:09 AM
Can't we all just get along here?? ?? ::) :P ;)
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 09:03:53 AM
QuoteCan't we all just get along here?? ?? ::) :P ;)


Not until you and Dawn admit your wrong  ;)




<waiting for the next argument on a completely different issue to start>

 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: EX#996 on December 10, 2004, 09:07:12 AM
QuoteNot until you and Dawn admit your wrong  ;)



 ;D

Ya' little snot...   ;D


Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 09:19:39 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 09:36:02 AM
 ;D ;D ;D
Timeless topic........or should I say endless.  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 09:43:40 AM
Quote;D ;D ;D
Timeless topic........or should I say endless.  ;)


I"ll repeat myself:

"
True, but there's only one reason men can't win an argument:  
 
The issue has to make sense for men to argue it.  
 
"With women, it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, they'll argue it anyways.  Guys don't do that.  If it doesn't make sense, we don't argue it. "


 ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 10:30:09 AM
QuoteI"ll repeat myself:

"
True, but there's only one reason men can't win an argument:  
 
The issue has to make sense for men to argue it.  
 
"With women, it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not, they'll argue it anyways.  Guys don't do that.  If it doesn't make sense, we don't argue it. "


 ;) ;D



HAHAHAHA!!!!  Even my 13 yr old knows better than to come up with that excuse. The only time a man will not argue with a woman is either when he knows she is right, doghouse isn't ready, or he values the use of his limbs.   ;D ;D ;) ;)

Give and take. Give and take.  HEHEHEE are you trying to have the last word??    ;)  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 10:39:27 AM
QuoteHEHEHEE are you trying to have the last word??    ;)  ;D

Nope.  The arguements will never end because the women will go off on a rant about something that makes absolutely no sense.  Then, the guys will let the women argue by themselves, and in response to the "ignore/mute" button the guy pressed, the women will change channels and bring up another issue that isn't going to make sense about 15 minutes into the argument.  

Problem for guys:  The mute button only works until women change channels.  Then, you have to mute it again.
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 10:50:33 AM
QuoteGive and take. Give and take.  

Give me a headache, take my money.  Repeat, daily.

"Womens guide to marriage" page 3

 ;D :P
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 10:57:04 AM
It's pretty quiet around here.  The women must be climbing the top ropes.


 ;D :P
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 11:11:12 AM
You're a blast!!!!!!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

However, in some cases I have seen, you are not entirely wrong. I know some girls that make the movie " Love Stinks" look like a church sermon.   :o  (seen it , was there, and DAMN!!!)  

My 2 cents on a good relationship are as follows:

1.  Find someone you have something in common with.
2.  Never....EVER .... try to make them someone they are not.
3. Accept their imperfections..........the are only human.
4.  Always make them feel important!!  Listen to them, even if you are bored, and let them know you love them.
5.Laughter.........always the best medicine.  As gross as it may sound, I burp, fart, and blow my nose in front of my boyfriend.  He cracks up laughing and tells me I should be a man!!!!  :-[


All in all, we have fun.  We hunt together, fish together, grill out every night, go to races, and argue together.  How good can it get?  Hmmm....... ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 11:17:43 AM
QuoteGive me a headache, take my money.  Repeat, daily.

"Womens guide to marriage" page 3

 ;D :P


NOT! Sound more like a phsyc patient with a man problem.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 11:19:09 AM
QuoteWe hunt together, fish together, grill out every night, go to races, and argue together.  How good can it get?  Hmmm....... ;D

How good can it get?  You leave and we get to do the same thing with our guy friends.  It doesn't get better than that.


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :P
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 11:21:32 AM
QuoteNOT! Sound more like a phsyc patient with a man problem.  ;D

You just described 87% of the female population in the world.

 ;D :P
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 11:25:22 AM
SCORE:

cornercamping: 2
RRRBrat1: 0

 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 11:27:16 AM
QuoteHow good can it get?  You leave and we get to do the same thing with our guy friends.


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :P


I have a better shot than he does for one.  I also provide "services" I don't think his buddies will go for.  If you ask me...........I provide for a better "outdoor experience".  HAHA!!!  If you do the same with your guy friends........DAMNIT MAN!!!!!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 11:28:55 AM
One word: Prostitutes

Cheaper, faster, easier, gauranteed, and no headache.

 ;D













































just kidding.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 11:30:51 AM
Overall, women are great.  The hardest challenge though.  It's kinda like playing Trivia Persuit, Monopoly, and Bingo at the same time.

You have to know the answer, have the money, and have the right number.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 11:31:40 AM
QuoteNOT! Sound more like a phsyc patient with a man problem.  ;D


Who decided that Phsyc was a female?  Maybe it is your banker or your ...........................phsyc??  LOL     ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 11:32:41 AM
 ;D :P
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 12:34:03 PM
Quote;D :P
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: GSXR RACER MIKE on December 10, 2004, 01:30:11 PM
That was pretty bad
QuoteI also provide "services" I don't think his buddies will go for.  If you ask me...........I provide for a better "outdoor experience".  HAHA!!!  If you do the same with your guy friends........DAMNIT MAN!!!!!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D

As an old German guy at work always says "15 minutes ride master, 18 years pay master!" ;)
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 01:35:26 PM
QuoteThat was pretty bad

As an old German guy at work always says "15 minutes ride master, 18 years pay master!" ;)


 ;D  Ain't that the truth.   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Baltobuell on December 10, 2004, 02:16:15 PM
 Corner, apparently you were involved with a woman that had the talent to change the topic if she felt like she had no point to her gripe or was seeing it was illogical, so nothing ever got resolved.
 When you have a dissagreement, check yourself constantly, and I mean constantly. If you feel like your voice is changing in volume or pitch it means you are loosing control because of your frustration. Ta Da, so who's in control. They can be pretty darn sneaky that way and if you don't catch on, she won't loose an argument. You'll just give up.
  Sorry ladies, I'm sure all of you are well above such tactics.
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 02:24:01 PM
QuoteCorner, apparently you were involved with a woman that had the talent to change the topic if she felt like she had no point to her gripe or was seeing it was illogical, so nothing ever got resolved.
 When you have a dissagreement, check yourself constantly, and I mean constantly. If you feel like your voice is changing in volume or pitch it means you are loosing control because of your frustration. Ta Da, so who's in control. They can be pretty darn sneaky that way and if you don't catch on, she won't loose an argument. You'll just give up.
  Sorry ladies, I'm sure all of you are well above such tactics.


Actually, I don't argue with my wife.  I let her argue with herself and drive herself nuts.  So, I always win because I never argued.  ;)  It's funny watching her get all mad because she's looking for an argument, but won't get it from me, right or wrong.  Then, when I think her head is about to start spinning, I just say:

"Look at me.  You can't be mad at me."

and, she can't.  When I say that, she'll start laughing and call me an a-hole.

But yeah, my ex-girlfriend was good at switching up the subject when she's realized she can't win.  That's why she's an ex.   For instance, we went to the movies one time.  She wanted to see some stupid movie and I was like no way.  So, she got all mad because she seemed to think I always picked and she never got a choice.  Then, when she saw I wouldn't give up, the arguement switch to me "never taking her out like I use to." ::)  But, then that didn't work, and she'd go home all pissed.  It was quite funny most of the time.

Otherwise, me and the wife get along just great.  She just argues with the wall, and it makes her fell better.  ;D

Title:  (Man laughing in Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: TrackBrat on December 10, 2004, 04:59:43 PM
Quote;D  Ain't that the truth.   ;D

 ;D  (man laughing his ass off in background)  He knows what side the bread is buttered on!  And so do I!!  AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH...............Life is good!!   ;)
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: cornercamping on December 10, 2004, 05:02:00 PM
 ::) :-/ ::)




 ;D :P
Title: Re: Off topic... Women troubles
Post by: Super Dave on December 11, 2004, 02:53:18 AM
What was the original question?


Many years ago, one of my girl friends said to me, "You're never getting married, are you?"


I stopped.

At the time, I think she was right.  I was in my early twenties racing when I could, contract in hand, struggling.  I had a college degree, but I wasn't using it.  I had some things that I needed to learn, but I didn't know it.

Regardless, I wasn't looking to get married at the time, so the relationship that I had was fine with her.  

She moved on in her life.  She was looking for something that I didn't have.  I enjoyed the companionship and the benefits, but anything further was more that I was willing to do.

A couple years later I met Amy who would be my wife.  I really recognized that almost immediately.  Lucky, really.  It was the right time of my life, and we had a certain commonality that was a lot of fun.

Isn't that like racing?  This is fun!  Really. the relationship, whether it's marriage, companionship, or whatever, it should be fun.

But tell me something else about racing....

Which is just like a relationship...

Some times it should be challenging.

Hey, I'm gonna have ideas.  They are going to be outlandish, etc.  I fully expect my wife to call me on it.  I might protest, make my case, etc., but that's the way it is.  If I can't respect my wife, or other people that I have relationships with, to have a blow out "discussion" with...hey, what is anyone worth?

I'm the lucky and unfortunate one that I race motorcycles and help a whole lot of people.  I've given tons of my time, and given up tons of my family's money, to try to give some opportunities to other racers.  Because of my wife's schedule, she doesn't come very often to races.  And how much time would she get to spend with me anyway?  I usually end up spending more time on other's stuff than my own.  Do I wish that it were different sometimes?  Yeah.

So, Xian...

If you've got chatter...

Are you doing the same thing every time looking for a different result? If so, why?  

I knew guys that had longer strings of short term relationships.  I don't think those served them very well.  If you've at least had longer relationships, maybe you're not doing so bad.  

You need to ask yourself what you're looking for.  And a lot of that's got to start inside your own head.

Ball's in your court...

And I guess sometimes...maybe you have to say no...