NEVER CHOKE IN A SOUTHERN RESTAURANT
Two hillbillies Ed and Red walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"
The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"
;D ;D ;D
Paul will be doing it before this summer is over.... ;D
QuotePaul will be doing it before this summer is over.... ;D
I've seen your butt....
I'm not going to lick it!
Paul
QuoteI've seen your butt....
I'm not going to lick it!
Paul
Struggling desparately to erase the visual image of how and why this would actually have taken place :o
QuoteStruggling desparately to erase the visual image of how and why this would actually have taken place :o
Paul was pretty shaken by the whole episode.....
Onwiler claims that it was a wardrobe malfunction, but there are signs that this may not actually be true.
;)
Either what you say is true, in which case you lead a really twisted life, (and we have seen photos...)OR you just like grossing all of us out, which is also twisted, but in different way. :o ;D
Yeeeeeaaaah. What an image to wake up to. I think I'll go back to bed now... :-/ ::) :P
Paul was the innocent here.....
You may want to have a little talk with that bear of a guy from Illinois.
;)
Talked to him last night and he was a grumpy bear. Apparently, even if he calls you, you should not delay him in his writing activities. ;)
(K3, it's all good, bro. I'm the same way when I'm in "work mode") ;D
... and don't send any e-mails either.... ;D ;D ;D
I smell a book! Just keep your small pets and children away for now. He might mistake 'em for snack and eat 'em accidentally! ;D
Anyone else find it curious that Hairy from Monsters Inc and K3 have never been seen at the same time at the same place?
(https://www.ccsforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fitsb.ucsf.edu%2F%7Evcr%2FCskinMonstersIncHairy.gif&hash=7dee15c0a1ffacbf42d7e6a271b4927d8074d774)
QuoteAnyone else find it curious that Hairy from Monsters Inc and K3 have never been seen at the same time at the same place?
(https://www.ccsforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fitsb.ucsf.edu%2F%7Evcr%2FCskinMonstersIncHairy.gif&hash=7dee15c0a1ffacbf42d7e6a271b4927d8074d774)
IXNAY! IXNAY! :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X
How does he get the horns in the helmet? Ouch! ;D
QuoteI smell a book! Just keep your small pets and children away for now. He might mistake 'em for snack and eat 'em accidentally! ;D
You know.... Writing isn't easy. At least not when you're me. I stare at the screen, peck around with a few piss-poor sentances, change thing all around, make it worse....
Then inspiration hits. The creative fever strikes, and I just get on a roll! My wife and dogs have learned that if I'm hunched over the keyboard with sweat leaking down my temples, it's best to just keep on walking and pretend you didn't see me!
So Alexa calls, I POLITELY state that I'm writing, and would like to get back to work. Suddenly, I'm branded as a MONSTER! Inc., no less! FINE! I'll just defend myself under the "Creative geniuses are difficult creatures" clause! So there!
No, you called me and I called you back. Now you're flaming a poor, delicate, innocent female, on a public forum no less. :'(
Besides I never called you a monster, you were a grump.
:o ::) ;) ;D
Oh where is my hero in shining armor? (Or at least a decent set of leathers?) ;) :P
The funny thing is, Dawn considers Omaha as "Southern". ;D
QuoteThe funny thing is, Dawn considers Omaha as "Southern". ;D
Anything below the WI/IL border is "Southern"......
.... isn't it? ???
;D