I see that the other wife advice thread was locked up and the racer lost the battle. That doesn't look like good news to me.
Here's my situation -
An investment of mine is maturing this year and I plan on getting a new race bike. It is a small part of the money and the rest will go towards the house and vehicles. But I'm getting the feeling that the future wife is not liking the idea of buying an up-to-date race bike. I figured she would have no problem since it is MY money and MOST of it is being invested in OUR house and OUR vehicle debts.
Since I THOUGHT it wasn't a problem and I THOUGHT I have been mentioning my plans, I have been quite surprised at her reactions when I tell my friends that I'll have a new bike this year. She just looks at me and says "Ya right."
This is coming from a person who wants to spend as much or more on the wedding.....? And after the wedding, what do we have for our money - nothing but memories of crappy flowers, clothes, and music.
Any advice on where this seems to be going? :-/ ;) ???
Oooo......
This is going to take more time to come up with a good answer.
I'll reply from home.
Dawn ;)
P.S. Paul and I butt heads over the racing budget all the time, so don't start worrying too much.
;D
I only date girls that wear 6" heeled knee-high boots and work the poles...they LOVE bikes! ;D
Easy, racing came before her and it will be there after her. ;D
QuoteI only date girls that wear 6" heeled knee-high boots and work the poles...they LOVE bikes! ;D
http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=330
QuoteI only date girls that wear 6" heeled knee-high boots and work the poles...they LOVE bikes! ;D
Can I pit with you this year? ;D
Ohhh buddy do we need to talk. Tell me there's nothing set in stone. But seriously, I'll PM you my phone #, if you want to talk maybe I can help.
Buddy, if you are having power struggles or doubts about YOUR money before you're married, SEE A MARRAGE COUNSELOR NOW! And postpone any plans! Her view of married may be alot different than yours.
Growing testicles after the I do's is much more difficult once you are the only one to risk financial disaster.
I agree if your having problems now with your money it is only going to get worse.
The best thing my wife and I did were open seperate checking accounts. I still pay 90% of our bills, but she doesnt ask where my money goes or how much I have...aslong as the bills get paid.
I learned long ago with a girl I use to date...you gotta set the ground rules early...when your first start dating.
Well, Paul and I started out with nothing so we could only go up from there. EVERYTHING, we have is joint.
The good thing is that she's not against you racing. Chalk one up into the + catagory. The next thing you have to do is sit down and TALK IT OUT..... in case you missed that TALK IT OUT....
I have to agree with the boys on this one, you're not married yet, so technically, the investment is yours unless you live in a marital property state and you've been with her 'x' number of years. What I would suggest is that you and your fiancee sit down and discuss what you're planning spending on the bike, what she's planning on spending on the wedding, and how much your planning on spending on the house (do you really need new vehicles?).
Talk it out and make a game plan. You'll have to do that several times throughout your marriage and this is the first step.
Good luck,
Dawn ;)
Yeah, Dawn's got the rational approach.
I'd probably leave our your statement:
"And after the wedding, what do we have for our money - nothing but memories of crappy flowers, clothes, and music."
In my experience (extensive, I might add) women love junk like that and that'll come back at ya. :)
First of all.. get a prenup.
Then do what shingle_monkey does. :)
Word.
Why are women on the internet so wonderful? And then you find this. ;D http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/
Run Forest Run!!!! ;D
I must be fortunate to have the lady I have!! She says she cant wait to come see me race, even though i know she is a little nervous when i tell her that i may and probably will go down on the track. She helps me work on my bike and gets things ready for the weekends.......
Andrew
QuoteWhy are women on the internet so wonderful? And then you find this. ;D http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com/
What's amazing is that this guy actually spends the time to write all this down. Blogging as therapy, apparently. Wow. Get a new girlfriend or go racing or something. :o ::) ;) ;D
Wait a minute, this is your money from your investment, you're not married, and she wants to dictate how you spend it?
And what is this young lovely bringing in to the fold? Her good looks? Lots of that running around out there.
Run grass hopper..... run fast and far.
Not going to give up yet. :)
She still tells me that she wants me to race as much as I want. She even wants me to go to Daytona and other tracks (although she probably wants the excuse to go to Sea World ;))
I pretty sure this is just a missunderstanding. I can't believe that she would actually have a problem with it. I was just seeing what ya'll had to say and if you saw any ressemblance of your past experiences. :-/
Oh yeah - she wants us to go to the Isle of Mann TT, but after listening to her plans, it sounds like she wants to see more castles and bed-and-breakfasts than sweet racing ;D
Marrage and racing? If you think she's tough now just wait!! DON"T DO IT!! And by the way I have TWO EXS!! ::) And YES it won't happen again :-X
QuoteAnd by the way I have TWO EXS!! ::)
Didn't learn the first time, huh? ;)
Lowe....
Don't worry, there are many of us at the track that have been married for many, many, many, years. Just because some don't work doesn't mean they all won't.
Dawn :)
Just explain that "in your head" you planned an annual racing budget of x and you've only spent y for the last z years, where x times z minus y times z equals whatever you need for the new bike. Then come up with an all-inclusive household budget (on paper) to avoid future problems. I used to think budgets were for sissies, but ever since I made one out for myself I seem to have a lot more money.
Budgets ARE for sissies....spend it ALL on racing.
Ok maybe leave some for beer. ;D ;D
QuoteBudgets ARE for sissies....spend it ALL on racing.
Ok maybe leave some for beer. ;D ;D
You're just on a roll, aren't you!
;D
QuoteJust explain that "in your head" you planned an annual racing budget of x and you've only spent y for the last z years, where x times z minus y times z equals whatever you need for the new bike. Then come up with an all-inclusive household budget (on paper) to avoid future problems. I used to think budgets were for sissies, but ever since I made one out for myself I seem to have a lot more money.
Wow...algebra for racers. ;D
i once had a girlfriend that got so pissed at for buying a new bike that she didn't speak to me for a week. and when she did the first thing she said was:
"how much did it cost?" :(
"$8000.00" i said
"that would have made a nice ring!" >:( she said
"you'll never get an $8000.00 ring" was my reply
and thats the story of why she is my x-girlfriend. ;D
Bobby, I love that story! I think your priorities are perfectly in line and I applaud your courage!
thanks Rob, i was hoping someone would appreiate that story ;D
Valentine's day story:
12 years ago, on a really nice February day, Roger came home from work.I was really sad, because I'm know to drive aggressively and I had to break the news to Rog that I think I had totalled our beloved Rx7.
To his credit, he wasn't pissed, he just wanted to know whether anyone had been hurt, and if we were going to have to file an insurance claim. I assured him no one was hurt, and I told him to go see for himself.
So Roger goes down to the garage and hits the door opener. As the door creaks it's way up, Roger thought it was worse than I had explained, as there wasn't any sign of the backend of the Rx7. The door gets about half way up and it starts to dawn on him that there's no car in the garage at all, but a brand spanking shiny new CBR 600 F2. Needless to say, that was his gift for the entire year.
He still commutes with the bike and it has over 50K on the odometer. Who needs diamonds? :-*
Only if that ring has 105 rwhp at less than 380lbs.
Wow - if a woman expected a thin piece of gold with a rock to be worth more than a new bike......... oh wow. I could buy a couple nice magnesium "rings" to mount rubber on for $2,000.......
Spyderchick - I'll let you drive AND total my 79 Rx7 if you promise to buy me a new bike............;)
I never totalled the car. ;D It was parked around the corner. I am a most excellent liar when I need to be. ;)
We currently have an '84 Rx7, we have also had '79, '80' and '82 model years. Rotaries rock.
Paul sold a 73' Mustang Fastback for my ring.....
;)
QuotePaul sold a 73' Mustang Fastback for my ring.....
;)
Must have been true love... :D
QuoteMust have been true love... :D
;D
Alexa, will you marry me?
Gordy, will you marry me too?
Ok, sitting back in reflection I see one problem here... all the women here are aberrations. You see, when a woman posseses enough logic and intelligence to see the beauty and simplicity of design present in an RX-7 AND the joy of racing... I have to cry shenannigans. What we need to do is post these questions up on boards like cosmo.com or Ibuytoomanyshoes.com... then the illogical, insane, and somewhat absurd replies will be seen.
The ladies here are way too cool to help in our understanding of the warped female mind. Perhaps using them as a control group and going back to childhood we can find what distorts the minds of other women.
I once heard it said that after the exchange of vows:
-Women expect men to change. [Settle down, stop hanging out with the guys, have a baby or three, buy a house and start gardening, put on a few pounds to keep you safe from the single babes & the 'meat markets', buy a mini van, have quite evenings watching romance movies, don't forget "Scrabble Saturday Nights", and for the love of God - put down the toilet seat. You know, everything a woman wants to grow old with.....]
-Men expect women to stay the same. [Let the good times role, keep dressing hot for the Friday night "Movie & Bar-B-Que" date night (Saturday nights are still "guys night"), lotsa hot sex, keeping that hot body, using the joint income to get the Porche Boxster, even more hot sex (now that you're married, it's morally okay!), moving somewhere away from the annoying in-laws, keep the toilet seat up, don't forget using the new, extra income for new & exciting hobbies (!), and still more sex.....But no kids until you're both in your 40's!]
Ummm, later I was told it was about communication & compromise. I was also told to put down the damn toilet seat.......Especially after I cleaned it!
It's worked out for the best, skipping Marriage Therapy is more money for tires!! And the toilets cleanup nicely if you scrub em twice a week.
Good Luck....
Cardzilla - I guess that would be expected from women who hangout on a motorcycle racing board :D
Most women think motorcycle racing is retarded. That's okay because I think most women are retarded.
QuoteMost women think motorcycle racing is retarded. That's okay because I think most women are retarded.
... and how does your wife feel about that comment?
;D
Quote... and how does your wife feel about that comment?
;D
My wife doesn't think motorcycle racing is retarded 8) But she thinks I am.
Have there been more threads and mentions of marriage recently (in the last 6-8 months) or am I just noticing it more?
Hmmmm...Nate, might you just be a little sensitive? Something we should know???? ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Wedding ceremonies should incorporate a pig roast at Blackhawk with the "big moment" taking place at the start/finish line. Decor should have a checkerboard motif.
Kim's now thinking about wedding plans?? ?? What's up with these folks?
I know..Stumpy & Heather, Paul & Dawn and Roger and me have inspired the masses! :-*
QuoteWedding ceremonies should incorporate a pig roast at Blackhawk with the "big moment" taking place at the start/finish line. Decor should have a checkerboard motif.
I mentioned that we should get married at Laguna Seca this year. She didn't even take me seriously. I said, "Do you REALIZE how cool that would be?" Still thought I was joking. :-/
Do it her way, it's means more to her to have the "Big Day". Then have a fun celebration at the track.
Either that or marry Kim. ;)
QuoteHmmmm...Nate, might you just be a little sensitive? Something we should know?
Well, I'll be ring shopping in a few months..... (shhhh) ;) ;D
Ahhhh....very cool. ;) :D