It was already Wednesday night and there was so much left to do...
...totally drunk and cant find a engine screw...
The bike was in a million pieces, time to call K3...
But he won't answer because I'm not in his cell phone since he killed the old one.
I leapt to my toolbox, knocked over my beer, full knowing that third call soon would be here.
Need levers! Need duct tape! Need lots of zip ties! It stings like a bitch when there's sweat in my eyes!
(K3 signed in on Rob's computer, coming to you from sunny Mid Ohio!)
Damn K3...stop spilling beer on your phone, we need to get this bike together NOW!
Hey, where the hell is my race bike? :wtf:
K3 replies, "Dave your bike is in my new racing van"
(https://www.ccsforum.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv238%2Frpracing%2FDSC_3348.jpg&hash=d1791f08184397024130ba40b3d2782ff7faede6)
"Whew! Thank GOD! I thought somebody might have stolen it" exclaims Dave.
OK... that little problem is solved...let's build this rat bike out of chewing gum and bandaids so we can go racing!
I'm painting it Sweet Georgia Peach Pink, cuz that's K3s favorite color!
I can't get over this nagging feeling that someone is watching me...
My entry is in, the parts are on order, where is that UPS driver?
The race glass is backordered oh what should I do? Fill it with zip ties and duct tape too?
I've gotten that covered my bike looks like S$%T!...
Well-it looks like this project is nearing completion,does anyone else smell gas? :ahhh:
"Yeah, I do!" says Dave, right before he remembers that K3 had 4 Taco Bell bean burritos supreme for lunch! "OH shit! K3 is about to blow!!! We better run!" :ahhh: :ahhh: :ahhh: :ahhh:
<nuclear cloud hovers above Blackhawk> Oh no! now what do we do?
OK, after doing triage on the pile, I figure we've got 6 good pistons, 5 good rods, 1 good crank, a pile of used bearings, a set of intact cases, at least six sets of rings that aren't broken, one oil pump that hasn't had TOO much metal run through it yet, a can of copper bond, a tube of Yamabond, a Scotchbrite pad and some Plastigague, there's nine hours to first call, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses.... 8)
...who ate my burrito?
Who bent my frame?
:lmao:
Quote from: Team-G on August 07, 2006, 10:21:32 AM
...who ate my burrito?
Check where that nuclear cloud is hovering, now look down...yup, that guy.
Wonder if we have enough time left to switch the powerplant to something other than a gasoline fed,air mover.Maybe something in a more envoirnmentally acceptable/green correct/non islamist funding fuel-any ideas?anyone? :pop: :biggrin:NJ JOHN
You can try keeping up on yer mountain bike. :biggrin:
...come on guys! It's all ball bearings these days. Now I'm gonna need 10 quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No... Make that Propoleneglycol...
SPIDEYONE ----Smite from flatlander John-do nac nacs come easier on a step thru female style mtn bike?I could steal my daughters anytime!If only I could get it off the ground! :biggrin: :ass:john
I resemble that remark!
Ah shit...Hitchcock went and made it all bling bling like that GSXR that he used to have...now what?
... I won't crash with a new bling paintjob!... No wait, it's a bass boat. Fishing anyone?...
Yeesh! Did he buy that thing from LJ? ::)
Quote from: Thingy on August 08, 2006, 11:22:41 PM
... I won't crash with a new bling paintjob!... No wait, it's a bass boat. Fishing anyone?...
Nice target! See you at BHF...
And you live in my mom's complex. Or at least you used to...
(And I love that paint...who wants to paint my bike like that?)
Quote from: Thingy on August 08, 2006, 11:22:41 PM
... I won't crash with a new bling paintjob!... No wait, it's a bass boat. Fishing anyone?...
Just don't paint it Hugger Orange like my GSX-R was. I hear Hugger Orange is atracted to concrete walls!
Off in the distance we hear a little voice...... I need a belly pan.... My kingdom for a bellypan!!
But all that I could find was a shit filled bed pan.
However, I thought...
If I clean out the shit, break out the zip ties & duct tape could it...will it...yup just fits!
Now will they pass me at tech?
Larry may pass you but you best not be trick...just plain old numbers and they can't be too thick!!
So down from the garage roof I came with a stick, to beat the damn rider into ridin' real quick....
the tie wraps were tightened and the duct tape was heavy, so much it was starting to look like a '52 Chevy,
On Honda , on Kawi, on Suzuki and Buell......let's race this damn thing and quit being a tool.
So I zipped the last tie
dropped the bike off its stands
I pulled on my golves without wiping my hands.
I'd flat missed the warmup
went straight to the grid
the two board went one as I buckled my lid
The clouds were parted by a single beam of sunshine that nearlyly blinded me as the one board went sideways. I couldn't see, but I pinned the throttle and let off the clutch with faith in what would come.
In all my blind faith, panic and fury, I let out the clutch in way too much hurry.
The 1 board still sideways, my front tire in the air, my CFM rearset clipped Edgar's big rear.
Now all wobbly and squirrley the front comes back down, my vision returns, my heart loudly pounds.
Throttle still pinned, the cables stretched tight, if I win this race, I get nookie tonight!
Turn one, it comes fast,
And then I hear clatter,
Ol' Edgar in front of me
Bike going Splatter!
In the weeds he does fly,
But I stay upright,
Gotta make the exit
To get nookie tonight.
I come out of the corner
and spin up the rear
all I can think of is
I shouldnt have had that last beer.
I wick up the throttle through 2 into 3
I hear something approaching directly behind me
Look over my shoulder and my eyes grow wide
Angry Andy's back there, right on my backside.
I put my head down and ride the carousel,
Dance around the bus stop, VP the only smell
Feuer shoots by me. Damn, that was close!
I've got to get him back, no time to be morose.
Through 4 and through 5 the gap grows much wider
I apex turn 6 and touch down a slider
bang through the gears and hammer the brakes
a smile grows wide, I've got what it takes.
Under the bridge like a shot from a gun
I'm in second place, lap one is now done.
Laps 2, 3 and 4, go by like a flash,
I see the crossed flags, My teeth start to gnash,
Second place won't do it, I want to get laid,
It's checkers or bust, no time for brain fade!
The gap grows closer, I think I can pass
the bike starts to sputter, am I out of gas?
I swear to the heavens, I swear to the road,
I better have fuel, Or I'll eat a toad!
I switch to reserve as I scream past the pit
Because I'm still riding old carburated shit
I can't win this race with my looks or my charm
so I'll club Feursthaler with J. Temme's arm! :ahhh:
It works and I run Andy right up a tree
Then I think, "No one said who'll my sex partner be?"
I like getting laid but it must be a girl
and Rosno or Edgar would just make me hurl!
Sex with a man simply isn't my bag
yet so damn many racers have been seen in drag!
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Bravo! Bravo!
Paul & Dawn :biggrin:
So I take the checkers and who do I spy?
Damn Edgar again, he's giving me the eye.
Was that a wink I saw, Aw man, not this shit.
Then I see my wife...on the hot pit.
She's jumping for joy, I've just won the race.
A huge cat like grin spreads over my face.
Man I love that woman, she gets me, alright.
Looks like Edgar's the one not getting laid tonight! :biggrin:
Insted you end up T-baggin Gay-3 :jerkoff:
Edgar seems happy and flashes his sly smile,
For he has already filed a protest for my rough riding style,
It seems that a certain "Scorpion Boy" witnessed the entire incident
and has convinced Edgar it is worth protesting..
Edgar may not be getting any lovin' tonight
but also seems content with the knowledge
that I will soon be dancing the "Blue Balls Waltz" tonight
as I thought I had that victory in sight....
Then the sounds of the engines woke me from sleep
so happy to wake from such a bad dream
Loud speakers blaring "First call group one"
must sprint to the can too much beer, got the runs!
still drunk and hungover from Stumpy's big bash
I'm sore and still achy from yesterday's crash
Think I'll skip practice and turn on the barkers
and pray I don't end up as a slow ass back marker.
Cheers.
Odd to see that K3 is still on his steed
he's normally crashed, down by the weeds!
But he is still up, with Dody behind him
What's going on? In what planet are we?
When we all realize that he wasn't leading
he was getting lapped, it was misleading!
Lame, Edgar. But I guess we should be impressed that you're even trying to rhyme in English.... :err:
Try this instead:
We checked the results and what did we see?
Edgar'd been lapped by good old K3.
Dorn hadn't crashed or run off in the dirt
He'd simply had trouble with wind up his skirt.
This is the best thread I have ever read!!! :lmao: :cheers:
Keep it going!!! I am in no way or form a poet tough... :pop:
First track day of the year I come to with cheer
My leathers new, my paint just as near
Last years tires on mount I ride like they're new
k3 looks at me and says you'll eat poo.
I come around turn 2 with confindence and speed
I layed that bitch down and almost pee'd
My new leathers and paint now broken in and a hole in my ass
Alexa will fix them as soon as this seasons pass
Finally the Team Stumpy rig pulls up to the track
Seems like forever, thought we'd never get back
After jackknifing the trailer and popping out brake lights
We unload the bike and set up for the night
We hear a loud voice with a strange dialect
And realize, that's Edgar and he's just been decked!
Who would pop a little Nicaraguan in the nose?
And now he's laying there taking a doze!
Of course, the culprit could be anyone,
The revenge against Edgar hadn't just begun
Was it K3, Casper, Benji or Tommy?
Jeremy, Johnson, Ike or a stripper's Mommy?
Off to the med shed little, tiny Edgar was hauled
As he woke up, like a baby he balled.
"It's ok, everyone remain calm," a staffer yelled.
"He drank domestic beer, that's how he was felled!"
After calming himself and wiping his nose,
We asked him if he was alright
"Of course I'm ok," said Edgar.
"But I need to take the motor off my bike!"
Quote from: StumpysWife on August 24, 2006, 10:26:50 AM
or a stripper's Mommy?
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
I don't care who you are, that shit's funny right there!
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:YES thanks all -great entertainment :pop:!!NJ John :lmao: :lmao: :biggrin: Great Mix of all my favorites :spank: :wah: :sleeping2: :preachon: :blahblah: :cheers: :finger: :kicknuts: :banghead: :finger: :boink: