The difference between "guts" and "balls"...
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and saying to her, "You're next."
I see common sense isn't one of the options... :P
I was wondering how long it would take for one of the women on this board to reply... ;D ;D ;D
Here is another one, so I can really get into trouble:
TOP TEN VALENTINE CARD REJECTS
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
hmmm, I see that wh0re turns into "sleeper"... ;D
One more so I can be burned at the stake:
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' . . . and, she always acts like she's sound asleep!"
;D that's great!
Such a smooth talker. I can see why you get all the ladies. ::)
Or is it because your our October calendar boy? ;)
QuoteSuch a smooth talker. I can see why you get all the ladies. ::)
Or is it because your our October calendar boy? ;)
I was thinking the same thing... No wonder he shows up to the track with Mason!!! :o
Now Simon on the other hand... That dude is setting up franchises..
QuoteThe difference between "guts" and "balls"...
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and saying to her, "You're next."
You know that`s why Gygax is divorced! ;D
Nope, just smart enough to know that it's much better to leave the women at home, where they should be cleaning and washing the dishes.
QuoteI was thinking the same thing... No wonder he shows up to the track with Mason!!! :o
Now Simon on the other hand... That dude is setting up franchises..
Ooops, I forgot the smilies for that last post:
;D ;D ;D ;D
QuoteYou know that`s why Gygax is divorced! ;D
What, you can't have all three? ;)
QuoteNope, just smart enough to know that it's much better to leave the women at home, where they should be cleaning and washing the dishes.
Edgar, Edgar, Edgar. All I have to say is this: Expect it when you least expect it. ;D
This is why I will be single for the rest of my life ::). It is sooo difficult to find a man that puts up with me coming home drunk and frisky from the strip club >:(, expecting him to clean the house while I'm out racing :o, handing me tools while I work on my motorcycles (after he makes dinner) :P, and being my pit biatch when I invite him to the track :D! Why do guys have to be so whiney, and everything to be about 'them' and 'their needs' ??? ? Can't they just accept that they are MY Biatch, and motorcycles come first :(? I'm with you Edgar, let's go racing without the 'girls'...I just hope you can handle getting your ass kicked by me on the track (again), and getting it slapped even harder while I sip off my 40oz of St.Ides (my depth perception is a little compromised when I drink :-[). And if I don't come home every night, you will know I still care when I call at 3AM for a ride home! I love you Edgar...
Ciao, Rhiannon :-*
(the sick part about this is that most of it is true :'( )
I'll bring the Jack and we will talk about some of the whiners I've been out with too, all talk, no show.
Go get em Rhiannon tell it like it is. ;D
Edgar - you're now famous in Australia - sent it down under to the gang. I'm still laughing. Thanks for sharing... :D
Rhiannon, I've done ALL THAT for you, and you've STILL NEVER SLEPT WITH ME!
Geeze.... What's a guy gotta do? :'(
QuoteRhiannon, I've done ALL THAT for you, and you've STILL NEVER SLEPT WITH ME!
Geeze.... What's a guy gotta do? :'(
NOT be married? :o :P ;D
K3, if one sleeps with you in the winter, does it count as membership to the Polar Bear club?
QuoteK3, if one sleeps with you in the winter, does it count as membership to the Polar Bear club?
Only if it's Ed Key. Jeff, you have an amazing lack of hair that precludes you from being called
any type of bear.
(Which brought up the sick thought of Fuzzy Wuzzy soap bears, who were without hair until you added water. <eewwww> The thought of K3 rubbing you with water made my skin crawl...) :o :( ;D
Yo Edgar,
You bring your guts and I'll bring my balls and we'll hang at the South Haven Wallmart after the Saturday races and scope some of 'our type' gals...
Don't drop the soap! :o ;D
QuoteYo Edgar,
You bring your guts and I'll bring my balls and we'll hang at the South Haven Wallmart after the Saturday races and scope some of 'our type' gals...
Hey Dave! Is that where you met Jen? That splains alot!! ;D
I'm leaving her home to clean my house and change the sheets....want it fresh for the new spank.
BTW: they get a complimentary tooth brush and paste (tooth being singular) for spending the night with me :-X
QuoteNope, just smart enough to know that it's much better to leave the women at home, where they should be cleaning and washing the dishes.
don't forget cooking too edgar ;D
QuoteNope, just smart enough to know that it's much better to leave the women at home, where they should be cleaning and washing the dishes.
Himmm....... Let's look at this a little closer.
Edgar, arrives alone, must do all the wrenching, tire warmers, gas, food, ect..... ALL BY HIMSELF.
Stumpy, Jef4y, and Paul.... Have wonderful wives who will get their grid positions, take care of the tire warmers, lap times, help them with their leathers, feed them, and cheer them on.....
Which would you rather have?
;)
I'd rather have a clean house, polished floors and a hot meal when I get home from racing without having to hear all of the whining that comes with women being at the track ;D ;D ;D
(running for cover...)
QuoteHimmm....... Let's look at this a little closer.
Edgar, arrives alone, must do all the wrenching, tire warmers, gas, food, ect..... ALL BY HIMSELF.
Stumpy, Jef4y, and Paul.... Have wonderful wives who will get their grid positions, take care of the tire warmers, lap times, help them with their leathers, feed them, and cheer them on.....
Which would you rather have?
;)
Hey Dave,
that sounds like a solid plan!!!
QuoteYo Edgar,
You bring your guts and I'll bring my balls and we'll hang at the South Haven Wallmart after the Saturday races and scope some of 'our type' gals...
Quotewithout having to hear all of the whining that comes with women being at the track ;D ;D ;D
(running for cover...)
What whining....... ???
Certainly not from the women! All I hear is the guys whining about, I want this for my bike, this guy this, and this guy that...... I need more motor, blah... blah.... blah....
;D
QuoteThe difference between "guts" and "balls"...
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and saying to her, "You're next."
I got balls-I go out with the boys, look but don't touch, and keep the schwantz in my pants. It don't take balls to hit every piece o strange I can nail. That would be easy. Now, that little hottie runnin' around BHF last weekend in the black spandex shorts might be tough to pass up! ::)
Quote look but don't touch, and keep the schwantz in my pants.
I wonder how Kevin Schwantz would feel about that comment......
;D
QuoteI wonder how Kevin Schwantz would feel about that comment......
;D
He he, I don't think he'd like that but I did have $5 on him at the RA round for AMA.
Da Schhwwwantzzzzzzzzz Sounds like a good Polish Wisconsin boy, eh?
Men. Bah!
::)
I have one of the ones you are talking about Dawn.
Not only does my wife support me at the races, and is always willing to get greasy and has the burns to prove it. She is also the Head Trackmarshal at AzTrackdays. I used to split the day with one of the owners, each of us working and riding half the. Now she totally runs the events and we just ride all day!! Gotta love it when you find a keeper.
QuoteHimmm....... Let's look at this a little closer.
, lap times, help them with their leathers, feed them, and cheer them on.....
Which would you rather have?
;)
lapper timers?? Hey edgar.... aren`t lappers about twenty bucks for ten minutes?? ;D
Quotelapper timers?? Hey edgar.... aren`t lappers about twenty bucks for ten minutes?? ;D
Himmm.......
What you have to pay for, others get for free. ;D
Nope, I still think that Stumpy, Jef4y, and Paul have done it right.
Dawn ;)
Sounds about right. You get a better deal if you are a VIP member like Tommy though.
Quotelapper timers?? Hey edgar.... aren`t lappers about twenty bucks for ten minutes?? ;D
Hmmm.... I would much rather help the poor single mother put herself through college one dollar at a time!!
And of course Stumpy, Jef4y and Paul will agree on the outside, but deep inside, we know what they are really thinking!!!!
QuoteHimmm.......
What you have to pay for, others get for free. ;D
Nope, I still think that Stumpy, Jef4y, and Paul have done it right.
Dawn ;)
Damn it, I keep forgetting the smilies ;D ;D ;D ;D
OK, I want an honest answer here Dawn: When was the last time you gave Paul a good lap dance, fully nude, with the music blasting?
;D ;D ;D
stir, stir, stir....
QuoteHimmm.......
What you have to pay for, others get for free. ;D
QuoteOK, I want an honest answer here Dawn: When was the last time you gave Paul a good lap dance, fully nude, with the music blasting?
;D ;D ;D
stir, stir, stir....
I've done that, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I like to keep things interesting! :-*
The question was, when was the last time you did it? Or we can rephrase it to: How often do you do it? Daily? Weekly? Bi-Weekly?
;D ;D
Oh, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of! On the contrary...
QuoteOh, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of! On the contrary...
OK, well, I hope I don't offend anyone, I did have a couple of relationships that thought I wanted it too much, is that bad to say? :-/
QuoteI've done that, I'm not ashamed to admit it, I like to keep things interesting! :-*
You gave Paul a lap dance? Got video? :o ;) ;D
QuoteYou gave Paul a lap dance? Got video? :o ;) ;D
Rumor has it Gygax did! ;D
QuoteRumor has it Gygax did! ;D
Only when my a$$ itches
ttt